Jason Daniel Hood

Gone, revisited.

2012-01-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

With the passing of my Aunt Nita yesterday...I decided to revisit and share this song. I wrote it about the words which surround us during times of loss. We all stand inside heartache in our own way. "Some days you let go / some days, you just don't know." - JDH

Gone (Days Like These)

Whispered voices

In mid embraces

Say

There will be days like these

Misplaced voices

In quiet places

Say

Just get through, days like these

You’ll get through, days like these

But no one said anything

About it lasting this long

I guess it is just the balance of life

Now that she’s gone

Chorus

Now that she’s gone

In these halls

In these rooms

An ache builds

A make-shift residence

Now that she’s gone

In these hours

In these days

A hurt buries deep,

Sparing no expense

Now that she’s gone

Trusted voices

In family faces

Say

Get beyond, the days like these

Leave behind, days like these

Loosened voices

In good graces

Say

You’ll forget, days like these

Once familiar, days like these

And no one will measure

Healing finally comes along

And Time finds time to stitches up your heart

Now that she’s gone

-Chorus-

Bridge

Some days, You let go

Some days, You just don’t know

You find

You can’t measure a life by a life

As a son, Daughter,

Husband, wife

With lost goodbyes

And no reprieves

You find you stay

Though in your heart

Each day she leaves

-Chorus-

American Songwriter Lyric Contest

2011-12-01T18:21:00.000-08:00

Done.

Finished.

Submitted.

Fingers crossed.

The 5 Songs:

To See You Happy, Into You, Something More, Name the Fear and Find Me.

I'm going to share all 5 with you here...together, in one spot. I'll throw in some context of when and why each was written...I'd love to know what you think...so, be in touch.

In researching what songs I wanted to submit, I went back...way back...through years and years of songs. Ultimately, I went with songs that were written in the last couple of years. I felt closer to them and they still resonate inside me.

-JDH

To See You Happy I wrote in about 10minutes - and I love when that happens. When a song comes together like that, so quickly, it is almost always an indication that I didn't censor myself. I wrote this song after the end of a relationship and seeing my Ex moving on. At first I didn't know how to feel...then I realized I was happy just to see them happy.

To See You Happy

v1
So this is how it feels
When enough time has passed
Making things real
Get a little distance
Allow the hurts to heal
From here
I can look at you and finally understand
I was many things
Just not enough to be your man

Chorus
It’s good
To see you happy
And now
To see you happy
Means so much to me
It’s right
To see you happy
So good
To see you happy
As you deserve to be

v2
I will let the future thaw
And just rest outside the past
Though it still feels raw
Trips my tongue
And sticks to my jaw
It isn't easy to call you a friend
Given our history
But our lives will let us write the end

Bridge
I can hold the memory
It will be him holding you, instead of me
It’s gentle ache
To acclimate

Myself to
A quiet break
I appreciate

When I see you

Into You is a song about just letting go and falling in love. I write lyrics, so I have to say that in my mind I hear this as a fun...upbeat song...a song that's got a free-spirit, driving down Hwy 1 in California vibe to it.

Into You

Seems like

I’m stepping outside

Stepping away from everything I know

So bare with me

While I let go

Seems a little

A little unlike me

But when you know, you know

So here I am

And I know

Do us both a favor

Don’t wait for an engraved invitation

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Tie me up

Tie me down

Bind me, graft me into you

Into you

Let me in

Shut me out

Hold me, keep me with you

Into you

A four-leaf clover, Hailey’s comet, solar eclipse

It’s that rare for me to fall like this

But here I am

Falling, falling

Into you

Seems like

This is just meant to be

Just this way, uncomplicated

Like my favorite jeans

Fit right and faded

Seems a little

This side of perfect

How our hearts easily navigate

So I follow

Take the bait

Do us both a favor

Let my touch be my indication

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Bridge

I’m not saying

Clip my wings

I’m just saying

Know

I’ll always fly right back to you

I’m not saying

Brand my skin

I’m just saying

Know

You’ve already left your mark

Something More is another fun, love song...or, at least, that's what I hear in my head. When I was reading and re-reading songs that I've written over the last few years - I could always find songs about heartache and heartbreak. So, I made conscious effort to find some songs that focused on being in love. I wanted to put that energy out there...and see what comes back.

Something More

I like your toothbrush in my bathroom

Your clothes left on my floor

These everyday

Throw away’s

Make me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

I like how you just go to things in my kitchen

When you slip and say “our” bed

The little things

You just bring

Make me thing there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

Chorus

Something more

About you

Something more

About me

Something more

You feel

Something more

You see

I've got no clue what will follow today

But that something more makes the unknown feel ok

I'll gladly settle for

Something more

I like how your head always finds my pillow

Your shoes kicked by my door

You're in the way

Most everyday

Makes me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm kinda sure there’s something more

Chorus

Bridge

Stay

And let’s drive each other crazy

Stay

And let’s make each other sane

I'll make room in my closet

I’ll make room in my bed

Why go back to your place

Stay

Right here, let's make this Our place instead

Chorus

Name the Fear I wrote as support to my friends...friends of survival. I have many friends who are survivors...of abuse - in various forms - physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual and psychological. This song I wrote as I moved through therapy and addressed abuse I had sustained. Abuse that left me in need of discovering new ways to cope and process.

The previous songs I felt confident submitting in the lyric competition...they seem radio-ready with the right tune and beat. Name the Fear and Find Me are the two I was the most unsure of. They're both personal and they aren't really love songs. But they're real singer/songwriter songs and, at the core, that's who I am.

I'm partial to the lyrics of the second verse especially the line about being "cornered in a round room." In therapy that was how I felt, at times. When I was writing this song and I wrote that line, I remember exhaling. It was exactly what I needed it to be.

I wanted to include these songs in the competition because they hold more truth, at this time in my life, than the love songs. Understanding the truth and weight of these last 2 songs meant I had no choice but to include them.

Name the Fear

v1
Look me in the eyes
Sit your soul down
Inside my voice
Nothing you say can surprise
Things will shine through
It’ll be clear
When you find the words
To name the fear

Chorus
Baby, name the fear
Nothing can reach you here
What you’re facing
Has to get by me

To get to you
And I’m not letting anything through
I swear
All you need to do, is name the fear

v2
That vow of silence, bend
I’m not that far ahead
Of where you are
How it starts, how it ends
When what was far
Comes dangerously near
Cornered in a round room
Forced to name the fear

I am always amazed at how well we know each other...really know each other.

I remember a friend saying they thought I had it all together. I laughed. I said, I don't even know what that means. I don't want to have it all together. I like the questions of life and faith.

We all have insecurities. Hurts. Scars. Some of us are better at hiding them than others. I write Find Me because the more I talked to my friend, the more convinced they seemed to be that they had me all figured out.

They couldn't have been more wrong.

Find Me

I’ve been right
I’ve been wrong
Come up short
And it’s taken long
To find me

I’ve been a saint
I’ve been a sinner
Lost everything
To feel like a winner
Still I find me

I’ve been there
I’ve been back
Surrendered
Only to attack
So I find me

Chorus
You say
Time always tells
You say
You know me well
Truth is
You know only

What I let you see
Truth is
I’m still my own discovery

And I

I don’t even know all of me

So you

You only get to know

What I let you see

You’re so far ahead, you’re behind
You’re the first person, standing in the wrong line
Only to start again
So count back from ten
Close your eyes, then you'll see
Look the other way and then

You'll find me

so. outdated.

2011-11-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

It has been SO long since I've blogged...

But I'm heading back. With new songs, quips & stories.

Stay tuned!

In the meantime in between time...check out older posts and get in touch if you read over some lyrics you like. I'm entering a lyric writing contest and I need help deciding what to submit.

Thanks.
JDH

Into You

2010-07-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

A brand new song...I can't even be sure where it came from. It isn't drawn from some wonderful, romantic life experience...at least not yet. Maybe I'm speaking something into being.

This new song, Into You, came in about 10 minutes. Reading back over it, it feels like it wrote itself.

So, I'm sharing it here...

Enjoy.
-JDH

Into You

7/11/10

Seems like

I’m stepping outside

Away from everything I know

So bare with me

While I let go

Seems a little

A little unlike me

But when you know, you know

So here I am

And I know

Do us both a favor

Don’t wait for an engraved invitation

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Tie me up

Tie me down

Bind me, graft me into you

Into you

Let me in

Shut me out

Hold me, keep me with you

Into you

A four-leaf clover, Hailey’s comet, solar eclipse

It’s that rare for me to fall like this

But here I am

Falling, falling

Into you

Seems like

This is just meant to be

Just this way, uncomplicated

Like my favorite jeans

Fit right and faded

Seems a little

This side of perfect

Which our hearts easily navigate

So I follow

Take the bait

Do us both a favor

Let my touch be my indication

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Bridge

I’m not saying

Clip my wings

I’m just saying

Know

I’ll always fly right back to you

I’m not saying

Brand my skin

I’m just saying

Know

You’ve already left your mark

He Goes

2010-04-24T17:06:00.000-07:00

Between Facebook and Twitter...my BLOG becomes neglected. I always mean to do better...but do I? Rarely.

Yesterday I got home from a brief vacation in Richmond, VA - visiting family. I really should write about that...and I will.

For now...I'll share my latest song. He Goes. This is a song I started a couple months ago. When I first started writing it...the words poured out of me. Then, as quickly as it flowed, it ebbed. While I was flying to Richmond earlier in the week, I revisited the song. I hadn't even looked at it in months. As I flew, I reconnected with what I was going through when I first started writing. I stepped back into all the mixed emotions and re-directions. With that step, the flow returned.

He Goes is a simple wrong time, wrong place love song. It's about falling for someone who isn't available. It intrigues me what we sometimes put our hearts through...how we fool ourselves. The song's Bridge enfolds my favorite lines of the song.

He Goes
1/9/10, 4/23/10

Chorus
And he goes
He goes
Contrary to
What I feel
My heart
Already knows
These are borrowed hours
Stolen minutes
‘Til he goes

v1
Middle of the day
Hidden away
From the world outside
I let go and let it ride
You
Making me laugh
Making me smile
Making love to me
Making me believe
In you

A tattoo sleeve
On arms so strong
I think you’ll never leave
I’m playing tricks on my own heart
It’s myself I deceive

Chorus

v2
When you stay
Stolen away
From the world we know
We can escape and go
You
Making me dream
Making me release
Making me explore
Making me believe
In you

Carmel colored lips
Kidnap me and
I forget everything I’ll miss
I’m lost in the game before we start
It’s myself I punish

Chorus

Bridge
You ask me to understand
Trade time for being stronger
It isn’t that you love him more
Just loved him longer

Post-Virginia...two NEW songs...Teeth and Crave

2010-01-27T21:54:00.000-08:00

Here and 35.

As I've written already, Virginia was a departure for me. The departure didn't sit the same way with everyone. I got lots of feedback...emails...text messages and a couple of phone calls. One that resonated with me...was from someone who "missed the love songs."

The more I thought about that...the more I understood it. Whether falling in love or falling out love or landing somewhere between...that's mostly what I had written about.

So...I'm sharing a little of both...a new song called Crave, which is a sexy, love song and Teeth, a feisty, spirited auto-bio-song.

Crave is about wanting more of more. That feeling you get when you first fall for someone...completely. Teeth was written in direct response to the feedback from Virginia...there's more to all of us than what people see.

Crave

10/7/09, 1/9/10, 1/24/10, 1/27/10

Step inside, step closer

Come alive, come closer

It’s just us

You and me

Nothing between us

Any separation is a barren desert

Of our own desperation

This anticipation is a cyan blue sea

Of our own creation

Where the sky meets the heavens

At the same time it meets the waves

I will express

If you will confess…

Do you?

Chorus

Crave

Another moment

Crave

Another touch

Crave

Do you?

Crave

Another escape

Crave

Another rush

Crave

Step inside, step within

Come alive, come within

It’s just me

Wanting you

Hanging in the balance

All reservations abandoned

For honest infatuation

Any hesitation now will just side swipe

Our hearts acceleration

Where this can go is up to no one

But the two of us inside this moment

I will profess

You acquiesce

How you…

Chorus

Bridge

You’re intoxicating

Like the ink under your skin

That’s how you’re tattooed

In my life

I want to fill each day

With more of you

Teeth

1/19/10, 1/20/10

You know me

But did you know

I can hide in plain sight

In lines and lyrics

Transparent and real

But you don’t know I measure

What I reveal

Chorus

In a moment of weakness

In a moment of strength

I showed you my soul

Now I’ll show you my teeth
A split second of forgiveness

Split second of release

I relinquished control

Now I’ll show you my teeth

The artist as lover

Can be a fighter beneath

Love me for my soul

Love me too for my teeth

v2
You know me

You know me

And now you know

I can show my colors

In truth and tantrum

Honesty and secret

But you don’t know I measure

What I regret

Chorus

Bridge

Have I said too much

Have you seen my hand

There is only so much truth

You can comprehend

You wanted to see

More than my heart

You want to know

If I had fight

Well, behind this kiss

Is my bite

Chorus

Virginia

2010-01-25T00:08:00.000-08:00

There is a genesis to this song...it all started with curiosity and melted into fascination. As I read biographies on Virginia Woolf...read parts of her letters and diaries...I discovered a kinship. The connection I felt to her was only strengthened when I discovered we share the same birthday.

Today, January 25th.

I understood her. I understood her life, her demons, her struggles, triumphs, power and, ultimately, her death.

There were several specific things that intrigued me and I gravitated to...things I wanted to incorporate into the song. A quote that Virginia Woolf was pretty but never beautiful...that she was an excellent swimmer...yet she choose to fill her pockets with stones and will herself into a river to drown...she wrote three suicide notes (which is why I chose to repeat the word down three times in the verses) and lastly, I wanted to pay tribute to Emily Sailers of the Indigo Girls whose song, Virginia Woolf, was my first introduction to her life.

I've shared this song with a handful of people - before sharing it here. This song is a different departure for me...it has an unfamiliar shade of transparency to it. The reactions have been all over the spectrum...friends have praised its imagery and questioned my artistry...asking for more fun love songs (those conversations actually sparked their own songs...more on that post-Virginia)...

Those "other" songs are still inside too. They will return...better and emboldened by my other life experiences.

Until then...Virginia.

Virginia

1/9/10, 1/12/10, 1/15/10

Virginia,

Was it the weight of

The water,

The stones

Or world

Pulling you

Down, down, down

Virginia,

Was the escape hidden

In diaries,

The letters

Or books

Writing it

Down, down, down

Chorus

Virginia,

Can you hear me?

Virginia,

Can you see me?

I wade in the water

With stones in my hands

Virginia

Can you free me?

Virginia

Can you teach me?

I’m lost out of the water

I know you understand

I know the voices you hear

I know the faces you see

You and me

We share more

Than a day in January

Virginia

How is madness worn

In dark,

In shade

Or night

Letting you

Down, down, down

Virginia

How are answers made

Carved

In lies

Or truth

Holding you

Down, down, down

Chorus

Bridge

Oh, Virginia

What makes up the sum of you

They said you were:

Always pretty

Never beautiful

Whose eyes did they look through?

Virginia

Strong enough to swim

Virginia

Strong enough to give in

Emily told me,

The river eclipsed your life

But couldn’t touch your legacy

Your will and the water

Pulled you from the surface

Setting you free

Chorus

Pre-Virginia (Part 2)

2010-01-19T19:17:00.001-08:00

I've re-read Virginia shared it with a couple of selected friends...even talked about it in therapy...

The song is inspired by and based off the life (and death) of Virginia Woolf.

When I started reading and researching her life, I discovered that we share the same birthday...January 25th. That small discovery made me feel like I had an even stronger kinship with her...

pre-Virginia

2010-01-15T20:17:00.000-08:00

I finished Virginia this evening...

A tough, tough song for me.

This song is unlike anything I've ever written...I've re-read it several times, each time I'm afraid its too transparent.

I feel like I've been honest and candid with things I've shared before but this is the first time I've really taken pause and considered how much of myself I'm revealing...

I think I will take another day or two to roll it around in my head and heart before putting it up.

New Song: Bye

2010-01-14T18:49:00.000-08:00

It started with Gone (Days Like These) and has continued...

I thought I would revisit some songs that were waiting in the wings to be finished...when inspiration found its way back to me. I've looked over some of the songs and some of them did, indeed, find their endings.

I've been pleasantly surprised by the new songs...songs that have been shaped differently and filled out in new ways.

Some of have been fun and (what I hear in my head as) "upbeat"...like Bye...it feels like a country song to me. Other songs have been darker, for me. I've done some digging...Virginia is one of those. I'm not ready to put it up yet, so for now, here's Bye...

Bye

4/7/08, 8/17/09, 8/23/09, 1/9/10

Here I am

And here you go

We both saw this coming

Had seats on the front row

Something had to give

And baby, I gave

Something has to end

When there’s nothing left to save

How you get from Point A to B

Doesn’t really matter to me

A garage sale or eBay

Craigslist, give it away

Some good things come to an end

It was never that good, a no win

Chorus

This is: bye

Just that, just bye

No more excuses

I’m out of uses

For the stories and lies

This is: bye

Here it is

Just so you know

There was no making it right

To work you’d have to show

Look over your shoulder

Turn back time

But still in the end

It has to be worth the climb

How you get from here to there

Can’t really say I care

Take the lesson and learn

Or just crash and burn

What’s meant to be will find away

Not this time, not here and not today

Bridge

Fool me once

Shame on you

Fool me twice

That’ll do

We all know how the saying goes

So get your shit, pack your clothes

We could do the dance

Hand out one more second chance

But I’ve learned this lesson

All dogs don’t go to Heaven

Gone (Days Like These)

2010-01-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

I started this song in August...but really only had a line or two. I set the song aside and knew when the time was right, it would come back around.

This morning...around 1:00am...it came back around.

My Dad's brother, my Uncle Charles, passed away almost a year ago...April of 2009. Thinking back to his funeral...and how my Grandmother, Aunt and Cousins are now responsible for the task of "moving on"...this song came to me.

With the passing of a loved one...with the loss of a job...or, really, the end of any chapter of something important in your life - there are always people who tell you, on the hardest of days, that there are always "days like these." No one tells you...and, in truth no one knows...how long those days will last.

So this song is for my family...but also for all who've experienced loss...

Gone (Days Like These)

8/23/09, 1/7/10, 1/8/10

For those who grieve...

Whispered voices

In mid embraces

Say

There will be days like these

Misplaced voices

In quiet places

Say

Just get through, days like these

You’ll get through, days like these

But no one said anything

About it lasting this long

I guess it is just the balance of life

Now that he’s gone

Chorus

Now that he’s gone

In these halls

In these rooms

An ache builds

A make-shift residence

Now that he’s gone

In these hours

In these days

A hurt buries deep,

Spares no expense

Now that he’s gone

Trusted voices

In family faces

Say

Get beyond, the days like these

Leave behind, days like these

Loosened voices

In good graces

Say

You’ll forget, days like these

Once familiar, days like these

And no one will measure

When the healing finally comes along

And Time finds time to stitches up your heart

Now that he’s gone

-Chorus-

Bridge

Some days

You let go

Some days

You just don’t know

You find

You can’t measure a life by a life

As a son,

Daughter, husband, wife

With lost goodbyes

And no reprieves

You find you can stay

Though in your heart

Each day he leaves

JDH, Back on the Blog

2010-01-08T19:15:00.000-08:00

With Facebook and Twitter...some times the Blog falls to the wayside.

Never for long.

It's a new year. 2010.

For the first time in memory, I was very ready to say goodbye to a year. 2009 was a tough, tough year. I'm glad to have it behind me.

I was going to jot some memories of '09...but I'm just going to let them go...strive to shake it off...

And...start with a clean slate.

9/11

2009-09-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of 9/11.

I haven't written a lot about 9/11...on purpose.

When 9/11 happened I wasn't living here yet. I didn't feel and still don't feel that I could write about it as a New Yorker. I was living in Atlanta and sitting at my desk when it happened. I remember not believing it when I first heard the news. I thought it was a small plane, a confused pilot. I didn't comprehend that it was an attack...that it would reduce the World Trade Center to piles of rubble.

I had just been here in NYC on vacation. I had flown back to Atlanta on Sunday evening, having been here to see Heather Headley in the musical Aida before her final performance. So much changed between that long weekend in the city and that Tuesday morning.

Now...8 years later...I live here. Since living here I've only been to Ground Zero once...and even then I could not stay. When my parents were here a year ago they had mentioned going down to the where the towers once stood.

We walked into St. Paul's. The small church is within a block from Ground Zero, yet not a single window was broken with the collapse of the towers. The church houses a collection and memorial to those who gave their lives trying to save whoever they could.

The atmosphere was somber and I could feel tremendous heartache and loss around me. I looked at the pews and saw they were scuffed and scratched from where firefighters had stretched out, still in their gear, making an attempt to rest before return to the search.

As I absorbed what I could around me...I became overwhelmed and knew that would be able to accompany my parents to the actual site. The place...these few blocks here in Manhattan...resonated with me.

I am a New Yorker.

Go to Him / Unguarded / Something More

2009-08-25T19:39:00.000-07:00

The writing continues.

A lot of the songs I finished a week or two ago but I'm trying to balance out when they're posted. This is a good mix.

The first, Go to Him, is reflective of a relationship that is caught - maybe in its own evolution. As I've said before, unrequited love is the basis for many songs. This is one of those instances. Sometimes when you're too close to that person who's wanting to be close to someone else - you lose your perspective.

The next song, Unguarded, is from last weekend. It is a sexy, summer song...that I wrote close to midnight on the train coming back from White Plains, New York. When I re-read it - I feel like I should've written it while sitting on the stoop to my building or while stretched out in Central Park. The song is about complete abandon...running headfirst into a crush. That first smile. That first look. I imagine this taking place on my New York City rooftop during a block party.

Something More is the last song and is one of my recent favorites. This song is about discovering and striking that balance when a new relationship is growing into...well...something more. There are little things that happen, when you least expect them, that let you know you're falling in love. Then there are the not-so-little things...when you find yourself making space to incorporate someone else into your life. Those experience are my favorites...I like those tell-tale signs that you're completely falling for someone...when you catch yourself saying "we" and "us" instead of "me" or "mine."

Enjoy.

-J

Go to Him

8/12/09, 8/15/09

I don’t need details

I don’t need rhyme

Or reason

This choice isn’t new

It no longer

Tastes of treason

The bed you made

Is where you both will lie

I’ve let go

Or at least I try

This feels like more

Than either of us

Bargained for

To great a sacrifice

To not be with you

But still share your life

Chorus

We can’t move on

With you looking back

Deciding who to save

Yourself or me

You can’t come along

With me pulling back

Making me be brave

Instead of free

So let me go, let me go, let me go

To sink of swim

Let me go, let me go, let me go

And go to him

I don’t need escape

I don’t need cause

Or effect

This is no mystery

No speak easy

Or lost secret

I know fully

Who we were to each other

Has been lost

Left to bury and cover

This feels like more

Than either of us

Is really ready for

Always too close to you

Deep inside your skin

Like your first tattoo

Unguarded

8/22/09, 8/23/09

Feel the sun

Turn up the music

Feel this groove

Turn up you

Make your move

It’s summertime

Baby, I’m feeling fine

I’m here waiting on you

Waiting on you

Feel the air

Turn up the sound

Come get close

Turn up you

Make the most

Of summertime

Baby, I’m feeling fine

Don’t over think this

Let’s just kiss

Chorus

Let loose

The ties that bind

Let go

Let fly, be mine

Throw caution to the wind

Your plans all discarded

And let’s run into this, arms wide

And unguarded

Maybe hit and miss, then ride

And live unguarded

Bridge

Lights go low

Temperatures rise

We all know

It’s no surprise

Colored lights hang off the roof

In my eyes you’ll see the proof

Lean close, lean in and listen

This kiss is your permission

Something More

6/12/08, 8/17/09

I like your toothbrush in my bathroom

Your clothes left on my floor

These everyday

Throw away’s

Make me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

I like how you just go to things in my kitchen

When you slip and say “our” bed

The little things

You just bring

Make me thing there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

Chorus

Something more

About you

Something more

About me

Something more

You feel

Something more

You see

I've got no clue what will follow today

But that something more makes the unknown feel ok

I'll gladly settle for

Something more

I like how your head always finds my pillow

Your shoes kicked by the door

You're in the way

Most everyday

Makes me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm kinda sure there’s something more

Chorus

Bridge

Stay

And let’s drive each other crazy

Stay

And let’s make each other sane

I'll make room in my closet

I’ll make room in my bed

Why go back to your place

Stay

Right here, let's make this Our place instead

Chorus

The Plaza

2009-08-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

There are a collection of little things that make you a New Yorker...over time. One of them is religiously referring to the weekly magazine: TIME OUT NEW YORK.

Last week I noticed that there is a free tour of the famed Plaza hotel twice a week. One of them was today, at 3pm. I had errands to do today but I made time to get up to the south end of Central Park to check it out.

There is so much history wrapped up in this beautiful landmark. The pictures came out a little fuzzy because they encourage you not to use flash photography inside.

14 COWS FOR AMERICA

2009-08-23T18:54:00.000-07:00

I was off today...and it was a great day just to catch up. I slept in and did some things around my apartment. Then I did more writing and I ran some errands.

While running errands I saw that my friend Carmen Agra Deedy's new book 14 Cows for America was out on beautiful display at the Barnes & Nobel on the Upper East Side (at 86th Street and Lexington Avenue).

Earlier this month the book received a wonderful review in the Wall Street Journal and I've been passing it along to my friends and family.

I can't wait to see how the life of this book unfolds in the weeks and months ahead. This is an incredibly moving story about an African tribe's response to news that America had been attacked and wounded on September 11th.

Though some may bill this as a 9/11 book - it is really a true account that captures the beauty of the human spirit. How complete strangers could ask, "What can we do?" speaks to the heart of what it is to be human.

I hope you'll check it out...you'll be better for it.

Some other reviews:

"...elegant sentences...The suspenseful pace is especially striking when surrounded by Gonzalez's exquisite colored pencil and pastel illustrations. The colors of Kenya explode off the page..." -School Library Journal * STARRED REVIEW *

"...gentle yet piercing present-tense prose...A stirring, heartwarming tale that made headlines when it happened-and is now, thankfully, preserved on the page for children." -Kirkus Reviews

"...just as affecting for adults as it is for kids." -Cookie Magazine Online

"...the words and the glowing mixed-media illustrations show empathy and connections across communities..." -Booklist

Witness to My Life / Connie & Karen's Wedding

2009-08-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Back in March of this year had the honor and privilege of flying home to Atlanta for the wedding of my pastor Connie to her partner, Karen. It is always good to be back in Atlanta and my trip was made even more special by sharing in their special day.

As a wedding gift I wrote a song for the two of them called Witness to My Life. This marks only my second "Wedding"-style song, the first being Let Me Walk Beside You which wrote (and sang with music written by Dennis Lewallen) for my brother's wedding.

After experiencing such an incredibly beautiful, moving ceremony - I scrapped the song with a promise to revisited it. A couple weeks ago I sat down with the lyrics and these photos from the ceremony and started again.

With their permission, I'm sharing it here.

Witness to My Life

For Connie & Karen

3/14/09, 3/19/09 8/11/09

This is the story

Of you and me

One and one

Upheld by many

The writing of our history

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses

Grounded in the grace of ages

We have found what we will name as True

I have found love

I have found you

Chorus

Be a witness to my love

Be a witness to my life

As my love

As my life

In a million moments

Threaded through thousands of days

Every season beautiful

Every season difficult

Stand beside me

And I beside you

This testimony

Of you and me

Reaches beyond here

For all to see

Honoring Love’s mystery

Above all in this life it’s you I promise to treasure

Our love will be how we measure

This love we know to be pure, worthy and true

I have found love

I have found you

Chorus

Bridge

So for all of days

Be a witness to my life

As my lover, friend and wife

As a mirror of the best and worst in me

Bind us together

To set us free

6 of the New Songs...In One Post

2009-08-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

So...here are 6 of the most recently posted songs...all in one place.

If you want to check out some snippets about when, where and why each song was written...just scan some of the previous posts.

Enjoy.

-J

Planets and Stars

10/08, 2/14/08, 8/15/09, 8/18/09

Careful,

Quiet now

Do you see

Above in the sky

So easily lost in this moment

So deeply lost in your kiss

I don’t want to miss

Just how the planets and stars align

The very moment you become mine

Chorus

Saturn, Orion, Jupiter, Mars

All fears set adrift

As the planets shift

Bathing in the light of a sky full of stars

All chances done

Like eon old suns

This love, our love

Will heal time-remembered scars

As witnessed by

The planets and stars

Easy,

Here now

Do you know

How it feels to love you

So intensely how you love me

So easy to be with you right here

Outside in the clear

Under this dark blue blanket sky

Lying still we close our eyes and fly

Chorus

Bridge

Stay close beside me

Practice your astronomy

Connect the freckles on my skin

Left over from the day’s sun

Lay down beside me

Tell me dreams held in secrecy

Making love in a night air so thin

‘Til the blue sky of morning come

Overdue Love Song

8/13/09, 8/15/09

This is it

This is the one

It should’ve been written

Way before

We were done

There’s no counting

The stars in the sky

Or missed

Opportunities

But this is a chance

If only for the record

A second chance

For days past to be rediscovered

Chorus

Here it is

A half-ass explanation

Here it is now,

Eyes-wide resignation

An apology

To you, from me

For knowing what was right

While I got it wrong

Here it is

Just an overdue love song

Hear from me

I wasn’t blind

You were truly beautiful

I was lucky

To call you mine

You were deserving

Of knowing me

Not just my

Insecurities

Run from yes to maybe

There is no excuse

Only a maybe

Lost inspiration or a misplaced Muse

Bridge

One day, should you hear this song

On the radio

You won’t even have to second guess

You’ll just know

Sure it’s too little, too late

That’s how I know,

Some times in life, we create our own fate

Bring Me Bruises

8/15/09

Your eyes

Brings no solace

Your touch

No longer sets me free

Outside of the pain

It’s left me ambivalent to your answers

When you try to explain

You say you hurt

Like me

You say you wish

I could see

Chorus

I say

Bring me bruises

Come back

When you are

Wearing evidence

Bring me bruises

Return

When your proof

Is real experience

Your heart

Shares no memory

Your words

Hold no shred of salvation

Hanging in the air

It’s no longer left up to you

To decide how I care

You say you learn

I know

You say you feel

What I show

Chorus

Bridge

The extremes

From lost dreams

Sends me so far

Away from you

Come back when

You’re wearing scars

Chorus

Through

11/08, 8/15/09

You

You of all people

Made it in record time

You stumbled right into this heart of mine

Unprepared, unaware

Of walls I can quickly mortar

And reckless traps I’ve been known to lay

Keeping ones like you at bay

But now here you are

Here you are

Chorus

Now, what do I say?

Now, what do I do?

When the one who didn’t even have to try

Made it through

I lose my defenses

You bring me back to my senses

Like only you know how to

So, now, what do I do?

You

You of all the ones

Who came bravely before

You came in bringing less but demanding more

Unsuited, unaffected

Of how I made myself

With my self-trained power of persuasion

Making me easy to abandon

But now here you are

Here you are

Chorus

Bridge

Past broken hearts, played tricks on me

Turned me into someone, I gave myself the excuse to be

If there’s any chance for safety, any chance at all

Then build again, build a higher wall

This time dig, dig, a moat

Bloody your hands, and surrender hope

Then you

A smile and a mirror standing opposite me

Giving me permission
To set myself free

Chorus

Take Texas

4/5/08, 8/10/09, 8/11/09

You and me

What do you know

We’re both here

Country music on the radio

I can find myself

Lost again

From the start

Wrapped in you

Two country boys at heart

Chorus

Never thought

No, I never thought

This New York City boy

Could be tempted to take Texas

But here I am

Yes, Here I am

Trading the subway for the sky

If it means getting an “us”

Our of you and me

Then baby, I’ll take Texas

Didn’t take much

To make me fall

A well-timed kiss

Another dropped “Ya’ll”

I could see myself

Right here

Right with you

I fit right in

Then it all comes true

Chorus

Bridge

I lose all sense

Lost in that Southern cadence

You in white T-shirt and blue jeans on

Standing six foot, nine

Smiling sly at me

Next thing, I’m just doing time

Counting minutes

Til I give up

Manhattan’s skyline

Chorus

To See You Happy

8/6/09

For ARB

So this is how it feels

When enough time has past

Making things real

Get a little distance

Allow the hurts to heal

From here

I can look at you and finally understand

I was many things

Just not enough to be your man

Chorus

It’s good

To see you happy

And now

To see you happy

Means so much to me

It’s right

To see you happy

So good

To see you happy

As you deserve to be

I will let the future thaw

And just rest outside the past

Though it still feels raw

Trips my tongue

Sticks to my jaw

Doesn’t come easy to call you a friend

Given our history

But our lives will let us write the end

Bridge

I can hold the memory

He’ll hold you, instead of me

It’s gentle ache

To acclimate myself to

A quiet break

I appreciate when I see you

On the High Line / Planets and Stars

2009-08-19T10:11:00.000-07:00

So fresh off vacation - I had a day off from work yesterday. I had some errands to run but I decided that if I did nothing else I would re-visit the High Line Park.

In June the High Line opened and

it is one of my favorite spots in NYC. Before the famous subway went underground it ran on rails above ground. Those tracks have long been abandoned and an eye-sore.

Several years ago a group of guys decided to transform the rails into an above ground park. Using wildflowers and the original tracks the park currently runs from Gansevoort Street to 20th Street. Eventually it will continue up the West side of Manhattan to Javitts Convention Center.

It is beautiful. I love the concept and how its been executed. It is a great escape that incorporates both the concrete and steel and nature of Manhattan.

I went down close to sunset...I walked. I read. I had my journal with me but before I had a chance to settle again I heard a familiar French voice. I looked to my right and saw my friend Luc sitting on a bench talking to a lady who had lost her camera. Within 5 minutes we were joined by Luc's boyfriend (and dear pal of mine) Marcos. Once again I had smile and laugh that even in a city of 8 million...it is still possible to run into someone you know.

When I got back to my neighborhood and was leaving the subway station at 116th Street...the sky had opened up and it was pouring rain. It was a deluge. Lightening and thunder sparked and cracked across the sky and the streets flooded.

I ran home and was soaked through and through...but it was still a wonderful day. I spent the last couple hours, before going to bed, working on a couple more songs. I'm working on a love song to New York City...it is a city that constantly inspires and challenges. There's no where else like it in the world. My love song for NYC (can't give away the title just yet) isn't finished...so I thought I would share another love song.

Planets and Stars is a romantic, intimate love song. Some of my friends say that I write a lot about heart ache and longing...this song will prove them wrong. This song is all about falling in love and closeness.

Planets and Stars

10/08, 2/14/08, 8/15/09, 8/18/09

Careful,

Quiet now

Do you see

Above in the sky

So easily lost in this moment

So deeply lost in your kiss

I don’t want to miss

Just how the planets and stars align

The very moment you become mine

Chorus

Saturn, Orion, Jupiter, Mars

All fears set adrift

As the planets shift

Bathing in the light of a sky full of stars

All chances done

Like eon old suns

This love, our love

Will heal time-remembered scars

As witnessed by

The planets and stars

Easy,

Here now

Do you know

How it feels to love you

So intensely how you love me

So easy to be with you right here

Outside in the clear

Under this dark blue blanket sky

Lying still we close our eyes and fly

Chorus

Bridge

Stay close beside me

Practice your astronomy

Connect the freckles on my skin

Left over from the day’s sun

Lay down beside me

Tell me dreams held in secrecy

Making love in a night air so thin

‘Til the blue sky of morning come

Overdue Love Song

2009-08-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

Here's another song from my writing days at the beach...

It's called Overdue Love Song. I wanted this song to be playful and honest...with an emphasis on honest.

This song was written from the vantage point of being a writer and artist but not using that creative force in a relationship until it's too late. For whatever reasons I tend to write more before or after a relationship...something to work on...

Overdue Love Song
8/13/09, 8/15/09

v1
This is it
This is the one
It should’ve been written
Way before
We were done

There’s no counting
The stars in the sky
Or missed
Opportunities
But this is a chance
If only for the record
A second chance
For days past to be rediscovered

Chorus
Here it is
A half-ass explanation
Here it is now,
Eyes-wide resignation
An apology
To you, from me
For knowing what was right
While I got it wrong
Here it is
Just an overdue love song

v2
Hear from me
I wasn’t blind
You were truly beautiful
I was lucky
To call you mine

You were deserving
Of knowing me
Not just my
Insecurities
Run from yes to maybe
There is no excuse
Only a maybe
Lost inspiration or a misplaced Muse

Bridge
One day, should you hear this song
On the radio
You won’t even have to second guess
You’ll just know
Sure it’s too little, too late
That’s how I know,
Some times in life, we create our own fate

HAIR - The Movie

2009-08-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

Peace. Flowers. Freedom. Happiness.

So my good friend Rebecca passed along the movie version of the musical HAIR. She'd heard me ranting and raving about the Broadway revival of the musical and couldn't believe I hadn't seen the film.

The movie is very different from the current incarnation running on Broadway. The story is more fleshed out in the film and the stage version lightly supports a story while exploding the music.

One thing the movie has that I'm loving is choreography by the legendary Twlya Tharp.

I love the whole vibe and energy of this musical...gives me the feeling that I was born at the wrong time in history.

I think what I respond to is the images of peace, love and expression. Those are voices we desperately need these days.

Errands, Bryant Park & Through

2009-08-16T19:41:00.000-07:00

So today...back in the city...

I head back to work tomorrow and that gave me some time run errands and transition back into NYC life.

While I was out running errands I popped over to Byrant Park and officially traded in the past few days of soaking in the sun at the beach to soaking in the sun (and noise) of the city.

I had my journal with me so I decided to grab a chair and sit at one of the small, green cafe tables and write for a bit. I realized that I had been away for a week and even with amble time I had not cracked my journal once.

I had been busy with song writing...so that kinda counts, right? My songs have always been like mini-snapshots of a journal. That's one of the reasons I date my songs...if someone ever wants to...they can take my Journal, this BLOG and my songs and line up and have a biography that's ready to go.

Since the trip was so productive for me artistically, I gave myself a break on not writing in my journal.

In the park today, under the great canopy of trees (pictured above), I was able to catch up a bit in my journal. Reading back over today's entry I noticed that it did borrow heavily from a couple of the songs I wrote last week.

Speaking of songs...

Here's another one to share...this one is a hybrid. I started writing it months ago and yesterday, while waiting at the airport, I deconstructed it, reconstructed it and got it finished. I want a better title but for now it will have to do....it's called Through.

I have several songs to share but since Bring Me Bruises was darker, I wanted something lighter and happier...Through.

This song is about being out of a relationship...and not really looking. Then someone, unexpectedly, makes it through to you.

Through

11/08, 8/15/09

You

You of all people

Made it in record time

You stumbled right into this heart of mine

Unprepared, unaware

Of walls I can quickly mortar

And reckless traps I’ve been known to lay

Keeping ones like you at bay

But now here you are

Here you are

Chorus

Now, what do I say?

Now, what do I do?

When the one who didn’t even have to try

Made it through

I lose my defenses

You bring me back to my senses

Like only you know how to

So, now, what do I do?

You

You of all the ones

Who came bravely before

You came in bringing less but demanding more

Unsuited, unaffected

Of how I made myself

With my self-trained power of persuasion

Making me easy to abandon

But now here you are

Here you are

Chorus

Bridge

Past broken hearts, played tricks on me

Turned me into someone, I gave myself the excuse to be

If there’s any chance for safety, any chance at all

Then build again, build a higher wall

This time dig, dig, a moat

Bloody your hands, and surrender hope

Then you

A smile and a mirror standing opposite me

Giving me permission
To set myself free

Chorus

Home / Bring Me Bruises

2009-08-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

There are so many things to love about NYC...

Trying to get home from the airport at midnight, isn't one of them. My checked bag was delayed coming off the plane and I missed not one but two M60 buses (my $2 key back into Manhattan).

When midnight came and went...I sucked it and got a cab. I just wanted to be home. We all know that feeling...being away and just wanting to walk through our own door.

It was a full day of traveling...from leaving the beach to hanging out in the Tampa airport for 6+ hours. I'm very proud that I put the time to good use...I worked on 10 songs, finishing 6 of them.

The first is a song I started four or five years ago...the title, Bring Me Bruises, came to me again while I was walking on the beach a few nights ago. I don't know whatever happened to the original I started writing so long ago, so I sat down and started from scratch.

This song came out of the ending of a relationship...and it's a little darker, heavier. There was a lot of back and forth...and questioning and second-guessing. I became a safety net when the grass ended up not being greener.

Bring Me Bruises
8/15/09

v1
Your eyes
Brings no solace
Your touch
No longer sets me free
Outside of the pain
It’s left me ambivalent to your answers
When you try to explain

You say you hurt
Like me
You say you wish
I could see

Chorus
I say
Bring me bruises
Come back
When you are
Wearing evidence
Bring me bruises
Return
When your proof
Is real experience

v2
Your heart
Shares no memory
Your words
Hold no shred of salvation
Hanging in the air
It’s no longer left up to you
To decide how I care

You say you learn
I know
You say you feel
What I show

Chorus

Bridge
The extremes
From lost dreams
Sends me so far
Away from you
Come back when
You’re wearing scars

Chorus

Heading Home to NYC

2009-08-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

I'm NYC bound and enjoying the free Wi-Fi at the Tampa International Airport.

I was hoping to snag an early flight back...and I could've...for $50. It would've gotten me home 2 hours earlier, but I couldn't justify it. Then I checked in and discovered to check just one bag it would be $20.

So it was $20 I had to pay vs. $50 I could pay...so I took, literally, the lesser of two evils.

The airport has amble electrical sockets, so I can charge my computer....catch up on Facebook-ing...and work on a couple new songs (Bring Me Bruises is one I finished today...look for it in a future post).

Last night I was able to meet up with some old friends in Titusville and enjoy an incredible seafood dinner at Dixie Crossroads. I don't have a lot of traditions or rituals...but when I'm vacationing in Cocoa Beach, I set aside one night to go to Dixie Crossroads and indulge.

And that's just what I did. Lobster, Rock Shrimp, Scallops, Crab legs, etc. Delicious.

I woke up early this morning and went out on the small balcony and just soaked in the humid beach air. I listened to the waves crashing as the sun rose slowly over the water.

It wasn't long before I had to be a part of it.

I put on my swimsuit and hit the beach for the last time.

This time I didn't spend time stretching out in the sun. I went straight to the water. I dove, swam and rode waves for an hour or so. There was a small storm over night and that brought in a lot of strong rolling waves. I considered it Poseidon's parting gift.

I packed things up and headed west. I'm here 6 full hours before my flight and making the most of it.

To See You Happy / Take Texas

2009-08-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

I recently came across a Tony Kushner quote from his play Angels in America. "Failing at Love is not the same thing as not loving."

That has stayed with me.

As a human. As a lover. As a writer...I tend to meditate on relationships...a lot. I find myself doing that more and more these days. I'm intrigued by what makes them work, grow and soar...or crumble under their own weight.

I have no answers...I simply absorb. And write.

A week ago I spent the afternoon with an "Ex" (Two letters that in no way, shape or form fill in the holes of who two people are to each other...even after they cease being.). During this middle of the day conversation I learned that he was now seeing someone else; information that should not have come as a surprise.

But the heart is tricky.

I was happy and thrilled...and said so. When I left and was walking home, I was left to once again take our history a part and put it back together.

I did and it became the song...To See You Happy.

I wrote it quickly, in one sitting. Everything just seemed to flow as it was being sifted. I read over it and filed it away.

Three days into my vacation (and riding the current wave of posting songs I've written) the song kept waiting on me to be ready to share it. I knew I couldn't share it without a blessing of some kind.

So I sent it off.

Yesterday I got a phone call and the blessing. I also had the opportunity to talk through the song...start to finish with him. It was one of the most healing and honest conversations of recent memory.

This is the song...despite what I've written above in the last few paragraphs...in my head I hear this as upbeat, hopeful and affirming song. A declaration. If we love someone then seeing them happy is it's own kind of reward.

To See You Happy
8/6/09
For ARB

v1
So this is how it feels
When enough time has past
Making things real
Get a little distance
Allow the hurts to heal
From here
I can look at you and finally understand
I was many things
Just not enough to be your man

Chorus
It’s good
To see you happy
And now
To see you happy
Means so much to me
It’s right
To see you happy
So good
To see you happy
As you deserve to be

v2
I will let the future thaw
And just rest outside the past
Though it still feels raw
Trips my tongue
Sticks to my jaw
Doesn’t come easy to call you a friend
Given our history
But our lives will let us write the end

Bridge
I can hold the memory
He’ll hold you, instead of me
It’s gentle ache
To acclimate myself to
A quiet break
I appreciate when I see you

On a completely different note...

The other day I finished a song I started and shelved well over a year ago. This song...well, it's just plain fun. It was fun to explore and write.

Based completely on an imaginary relationship (i.e. a crush)...this song is about giving everything up to be with the one you want.

Take Texas
4/5/08, 8/10/09, 8/11/09

v1
You and me
What do you know
We’re both here
Country music on the radio
I can find myself
Lost again
From the start
Wrapped in you
Two country boys at heart

Chorus
Never thought
No, I never thought
This New York City boy
Could be tempted
To take Texas
But here I am
Yes, Here I am
Trading the subway for the sky
If it means getting an “us”
Out of you and me
Then baby, I’ll take Texas

v2
Didn’t take much
To make me fall
A well-timed kiss
Another well-placed “Ya’ll”
I could see myself
Right here
Right with you
I fit right in
Then it all comes true

Chorus

Bridge
I lose all sense
Lost in that Southern cadence
You in white T-shirt and blue jeans on
Standing six foot, nine
Smiling sly at me
Next thing,
I’m just doing time
Counting minutes
Til I trade
Manhattan’s skyline

Chorus

Cocoa at Sunrise...

2009-08-13T14:04:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night...I tossed. I turned. Drifted in and out of sleep...but never really settled.

One plus to a restless night - an early morning...

The View from My Escape

2009-08-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

Cocoa Beach/Ronnie Coleman/Dance to the Edge of Heaven

2009-08-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm enjoying a week away from NYC...

I'm back at Cocoa Beach. Soaking up the sun. Sleeping in late. Reading. Writing.

I've brought along a couple of projects to work on when I'm out of the sun - I had to put them on the back burner when I received the news that a friend from my youth, Ronnie Coleman, had passed away.

I was shocked and saddened by the news. Huntington's Disease had not been kind to him and it had robbed him of many of the things that made him iconic in my memory. His passion and love of dance come to my mind. As a teenager I would marvel at him...he'd watch a video on MTV two times and then replicate it in the living room.

Hands down my favorite memory is when I went with him and a bunch of friends to see Amy Grand in concert in Orlando. We had floor seats just rows from the stage. When the show started he and I were on our feet living the music. That's what you did a concert. You danced. You sang. You joined in the experience.

Not everyone joined in. Ronnie and I were asked by the people sitting behind us if we'd sit down. Repeatedly they asked. We would try...then a song we loved would start and we couldn't contain ourselves...we'd be back on our feet.

Several songs into the concert, and after being asked again, we sat down. Between songs Ms. Grant started talking about music and how it touched people in different ways. Then she added, "Like these two guys over here...just dancing to every song. They came to have a good time. Guys I hope you dance all night. Have a good time!"

With Amy's blessing we did exactly that.

When I think of Ronnie...I think of dance. After receiving the news that he passed away last Friday...I could hardly think of anything else.

I sat down and wrote this song for him...and all those who love him and will miss him.

Dance to the Edge of Heaven
8/11/09
for Ronnie Coleman

v1
Hear the music play
No reason to stay
Let go, get away
Dance to the edge of Heaven

Exhale close your eyes
Find your piece of sky
Let go, let fly
Dance to the edge of Heaven

Chorus
This is your time
This is your chance
Dance to the edge
The edge of Heaven
Free of a body that kept
You on an invisible ledge
Dance to the edge
The edge of Heaven

v2
Feel the wind in your hair
No one there to care
Let go, on a dare
Dance to the edge of Heaven

Inhale the clean light
As you take flight
Let go, of the fight
Dance to the edge of Heaven

Chorus

Bridge
Dance out the day
Dance out the night
Dance to the One
Who holds the light

Dance on your way
Dance on your own
Dance to the One
Who sings you home

2 New

2009-08-06T13:08:00.001-07:00

I was telling my dear friend Antuan today that I feel like I'm tapped into something different these days.

I've gone the last couple months without writing...songs, in my personal journal, in this BLOG, letters, etc....now...I've hit some underground current. Inspiration has been tailing me lately. I've been inspired by so many things around me.

I'm writing in my journal almost daily...and songs are find their way to me on a daily basis as well...

I commute for work and yesterday as I rode out of the city on the train and then again last night coming back into Manhattan...two songs found me. Both are very different. I know they're only lyrics here...but I do "hear" them in my head. The first I wrote in about four minutes. When I finished I looked up...then looked back down at my chicken scratch and re-read it. It said everything I needed it to say. It's called Name the Fear.

Last night, late, I was heading home. I read a few pages of Harry Potter, took a phone call, listened to my iPod...then stopped and put everything away. Within minutes I had Find Me.

When talking with a couple of friends last week...we talked about fears. One mentioned that if you name the fear - it isn't as scary.

I wasn't sold on the idea.

To me naming the fear meant that not only was it scary...it was scary with a name.

This song is from the other side...written as if I'm a big boy. With no fears and able to save others. In other words, I put myself in someone else's shoes to seem more confident.

Name the Fear
8/5/09
Thanks, KH

v1
Look me in the eyes
Sit your soul down
Inside my voice
Nothing you say can surprise
Things will shine through
It’ll be clear
When you find the words
To name the fear

Chorus
Baby, name the fear
Nothing can reach you here
What you’re facing
Has to get by me to get to you
And I’m not letting anything through
I swear
All you need to do, is name the fear

v2
That vow of silence, bend
I’m not that far ahead
Of where you are
How it starts, how it ends
When what was far
Comes dangerously near
Cornered in a round room
Forced to name the fear

Chorus

And the second...

I'm always intrigued by relationships and how well we know the people we love. This song came from really, really thinking about that...

How often do we let people in to see more of who we really are?

Find Me
8/5/09, 8/6/09

I’ve been right
I’ve been wrong
Come up short
And it’s taken long
To find me

I’ve been a saint
I’ve been a sinner
Lost everything
To feel like a winner
Still I find me

I’ve been there
I’ve been back
Surrendered
Only to attack
So I find me

Chorus
You say
That time always tells
You say
You know me well
Truth is
You know what I let you see
Truth is
I’m my own discovery
I don’t even know me
So can’t ever know
You’d be so far ahead, you’d be behind
You’d be the first person
Standing in the wrong line
It’ll just start again
So count backwards from ten
Then see
If you find me

Calling Off the Search (lyrics)

2009-08-03T19:39:00.000-07:00

So...the writing continues.

Over the last few months I have a few songs that I've picked up and put down...more than a couple times. Now they're finding the light of day and I'm sharing them...

The song below is called Calling Off the Search. There are actually two completely different versions of this song...written from different perspectives. One I hear in my head as an upbeat, declaration about finding love you've been longing for...the second, and the one published below, is about a relationship that ends abruptly with no explanation.

Earlier this year I experienced the second...so that's the one where I devoted the most energy and it's the one that got finished first. When inspiration hits, I'll finish the other.

Until then...I give you...

Calling Off the Search
3/5/09, 3/8/09, 7/31/09, 8/1/09

v1
Tell me, did you run like a thief?
Or like a pilgrim hungry for heaven, craving peace?
Or was it something more like the house was on fire?
The speed in which you ran
Or more along the lines of a summer castle
Made from stolen ocean sand?

Who am I to say?
Who am I to say?
I was just the one you kissed
Yet still not called to be a witness
To your exodus

Chorus
I’m calling off the search
Letting you go to the unknown
I’m calling off the search
Standing tall, if on my own
The could be’s and might’ve been
Unanswered questions, why’s and when’s
Who you were to me
Who you really are
Now I see
So, I’m call of the search for you
And I’m finding me

v2
Convenient, how you play the fence
Not even drowned in silence could it make sense
My heart on mine, your secret fraying from your sleeve
Step just one foot into light
Owning the streets of New York City
The other side of midnight

Who am I to say?
Who am I to say?
I was who took your hand
Though not strong enough to make you a man
Don’t understand

Chorus

Bridge
Left to draw my own conclusions, from the silence
Left to climb out of confusion, from the distance
What is left to say
When you took both yourself and the choice away
To cover your tracks, you buried the clues
But this time, I’m not following you

Never Find the Words/Return to the BLOG

2009-07-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

Every so often...I get back to my BLOG...my on-line journal...and I vow to do better. To update more often. To stay more current.

These days it seems to be more like..."I'll give it a shot."

To celebrate my return to the BLOG...I'm posting a new tune I wrote a week ago...It may be revisited in the future (it could use a 2nd verse) but for right now, this is what I'm going with...

I spent some time with a couple of friends recently and one mentioned that when leaving for a trip, he struggled to finding the right words to write in a note he was leaving for his wife. It wasn't that he was at a loss for words. He knew exactly how he felt about her...he just felt like words were inadequate. He said the moment he had that thought he then thought of me and said, "Jason would turn that into a song."

So I did.

Never Find the Words
7/24/09

v1
I lose my words
To say I love you
I lose my words
To say I’ll miss you
I lose all the ways
I try to say
You fit into every corner of my day

They're only words
To say I love you
Well-placed words
To say I’ll miss you
Spilled on paper
To try to say
All the things that just get in my way

Chorus
I’ll never find the words
I’ll never find the words
To say what I know you already know
I’ll never find the words
But that doesn’t mean I can’t try
Hear it from me
See what I see
You’re the deepest joy my heart ever heard
That’s the truest way to tell you
Even if, I never find the words.

Bridge
You, you fit into my life
You’re my best friend, my wife
The mother of my children
The holder of my dreams
You’re the one in the end
Who justifies my means
Everything I’d fight for
Everything I’d die for
You’re everything to me

The Oscars, Vacation and Feast on Scraps - Chorus

2009-02-24T00:44:00.000-08:00

It's almost 1am...

I started my vacation this week...I kicked it off last night with my 7th Annual Oscar Party, this year hosted at my friend Joshua's amazing apartment overlooking Central Park. Lots of great food and fun as we sat around his living room, tossing in $5 for the Oscar Pool, and waiting for the show to start.

The Award Show itself was quiet remarkable...just the energy and vibe of the evening felt unifying. I was thrilled with the speeches for equality that surrounded the wins for the biopic film, Milk and I loved that Slumdog Millionaire walked away with 8 of the night's awards. I just saw Slumdog Millionaire the other day and I absolutely loved it. I found myself completely enthralled and moved by the story. At the end of it I was crying tears of joy and gratitude for the way the film captures the human spirit. The movie just seemed to ignite a sense of Belief in me.

For my vacation...I'm spending a couple days close to home and then I'm heading to Richmond, VA to spend four days with my brother and his family. I'm really excited about this getaway from NYC and looking forward to seeing my nephew Isaac and my new niece, Lealla. I was in Virginia for the birth of my nephew but I wasn't there to meet my niece on Day 1, so I'm really looking forward to finally seeing her face to face.

As part of my STAY-cation here at home this week, I've turned some attention back to my writing. I seem to have a plethora of songs queued up inside me and I'd like to knock out finishing a couple.

That's almost always easier said than done.

A few posts back I mentioned a new song I was working on called Feast on Scraps. It is a song I keep coming back to...I think because it speaks so clearly to where I am in some of the relationships in my life but also, as I've talked to friends lately, it seems the concept/idea of feasting on scraps is pretty universal. A lot of us seem to be going through the same thing.

This evening I finished the chorus for Feast on Scraps...so I thought I would share it here. It's just a snipit, I'll post the completed thing when it's finished but the chorus, at least in my mind, capture the rhythm of how I hear it.
Enjoy.

Feast on Scraps
2/8/09, 2/11/09, 2/14/09, 2/23/09

Chorus
So we
Set the table
Feast on scraps
Then we
Do what we’re able
Feast on scraps
Make do
Get by
Fill in the blanks
Or at least try
Wink here, then a kiss
Drive by love
That’s hit or miss
We tell ourselves
This is just where we’re at
So we set the table
Feast on scraps

Words...Words...Words... -Shakespear

2009-02-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

I'm on my way out the door to work, but I had to BLOG for a second about some of the new tunes I'm writing! I'm very excited with the new songs...especially Feast on Scraps.

Feast on Scraps is about making due with the little you have to work with. There are a lot of things that can get in the way of a relationship: friends, work, distance...and, well, life. You have to carve out your emotional space at times.

This new song is about trying to make a banquet out of scraps when you never get full. How long can you Feast on Scraps? There's the flip side to it as well...when you're left with scraps you enjoy every morsel.

There's the dichotomy.

For the first time in my BLOG-life, feel free to post a comment on this entry. What experience(s) do you have feasting on scraps?

(The title Feast on Scraps is taken from a line in the song Bent for You by Alanis Morisette)

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

2009-02-07T21:53:00.000-08:00

After working all day...nothing makes a day just a little longer than trying to do a load of jeans at the Laundry only to find out that you picked the one busted machine.

After waiting for a cycle to run (40 minutes) I realized that the load wasn't finishing...so the lady at the desk restarted the machine.

So we're going again.

As a bonus...I can see my jeans jostling in soapy water with my brand tube of chapstick. Damn.

Liza Minnelli Tonight...Myron Uhlberg last Saturday...and a story to tell

2009-02-06T23:55:00.000-08:00

I'm off to bed...but couldn't not (double negative) post that I had a quick brush by with the divine Liza Minnelli outside the famous resident hotel the Carlyle. I was on the Upper East Side this evening and as I was walking down 76th...there she was.

I'm trying to stay with the writing in my journal...this online journal. So, though be it brief, I'm keeping it fresh.

I am doing alot of writing lately...I have my "real" journal (the private one that I carry on my person and will be published to much acclaim after my passing), I have my Facebook notes and statuses, I have this online journal and I'm back to work on some new songs.

As it relates to writing...I had a wonderful dinner with my friend Myron Uhlberg last Saturday night. He was in NYC celebrating the release of his highly praised memoir Hands of My Father (which was released Tuesday 2/3). Over dinner with Myron and his beautiful wife Karen, our conversation turned to books - as it usually does. He was encouraging me to explore my own story and wanted me to know how much he felt it should be told.

I've had several people (Cassandra Andrews, Jas Sustritch, and others come to mind) over the years listen to bits and pieces of my life story and say that I should get it down on paper. I've toyed with the idea from time to time but as I lay in bed that night after dinner, more and more vinettes from my past started playing in my mind. I just may have some ghosts to revist, pay my respect and put to sleep.

We'll see...

In the meantime, I was able to satiate Myron by telling him that I would consider a memoir of my own but I really wanted him to know that I was kicking around the idea for several children's books.

His advice: kick one around and finish it.

2009-02-06T23:54:00.000-08:00

Myron and Karen Uhlberg and me just after an amazing dinner on the Upper West Side. Karen asked a young, well-dressed woman standing a the corner of 78th and Amsterdam if she'd mind taking a quick picture for us. Her reply was a half-hearted, "Ok, but if a cab comes...I'm hailing it." That's the kind of self-absorbed New Yorker that gives all a bad image. It took all of 30 seconds to snap a photo and there were all of 20 plus Yellow Cabs speeding up Amsterdam. Classic.

Also pictured here is Myron's new memoir, Hands of My Father. It is stellar!! As the hearing child of two deaf parents, he has a wonderful story to share...pick it up!

I'm Baaaaack

2009-02-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a while...as I'm constantly reminded...

Thank you for all the emails asking about where my BLOG is. My day-to-day has mostly been chronicled on Facebook the last months. It has been a quick way to document unexpected discoveries in ordinary days and also reconnect with friends and family all over the world.

But...this BLOG is where I started and I feel like an electronic-blogging prodigal...but I'm returning.

We shall now resume...

Birds Eye View and Beach Side View of Vacation

2008-08-15T18:01:00.001-07:00

These photos were all taken from the plane as I flew from NYC to Orlando. It was a perfectly clear day and as I looked out the window after takeoff, things started looking very familiar.
The top photo is the Cloister from the sky (I've written about it many times - again yesterday as a matter-of-fact and I've shared many photos, but none like that one.), The old Shea Stadium and its replacement (this is the last season for the Mets to play there), The George Washington Bridge (connecting Manhattan to New Jersey) and the Upper West Side.

2008-08-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

The view from our balcony and this morning's sunrise (before the sun rose behind the clouds).

April...The Cloister...St. John's...Breaking Dawn...Beachside.

2008-08-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

Well...I've escaped Manhattan for a week and I'm back at Cocoa Beach, Florida. It's been so wonderful to be out of the city and be soaking up the sun beachside.

So...I'm spending the days laying by either the beach or the pool...the afternoon napping...the evenings watching the Olympics. That's the perfect schedule for a vacation.

Before flying down to Florida...my good gal pal, April visited for a few days. We hung out and got up. I was able to show her what I call "My New York." She's been to the city several times and I wanted her to see things outside of Times Square.

Her first day in the city I took her north to The Cloister - one of my favorite escapes. The trees, flowers, grassy fields make it seem like you left Manhattan. We ate lunch and walked around the grounds before walking up to the Cloister.

The Cloister is owned and operated by the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It is home to some of the most amazing art from the 1400's including the famous tapestry of The Unicorn in Captivity. I've been up to the Cloister many times but I had never been inside. We went in to use the restroom and were told we could make a donation of any amount and walk the museum.

So we did.

It was beautiful. The grounds and architecture were gorgeous. It was great getting to see all the ancient tapestries including The Unicorn in Captivity. I didn't know that it would be so huge. It covered a huge wall and the detail in the needlework was fascinating. We spent a good deal of time walking the halls.

From the Cloister we went all the way downtown to Chelsea and then over to Union Square where we got to meet up with April's sister Beth and her family who were also vacationing in New York. We ate ice cream in Union Square and I got to answer a lot of fun questions about living in New York...where did I get groceries? How big was my apartment in relation to a Starbucks?

From the square we went up to the theater district off Times Square and met up with Antuan. We had several friends meet us there and throw their names in the hat for the In the Heights ticket lottery. Even with a bunch of friends trying to throw things in our favor we didn't score tickets. So we settled for a quick dinner with Antuan before he got ready for the show.

It was a full day - but April isn't one for resting when she's in NYC. We went back to my apartment (where I rested for about 45 minutes) and then we went out on the town. We danced the night away before coming home and crashing.

The next day I worked and April hung out with her family and then the last day of her visit, Sunday, we had brunch at diner of the Upper East Side called Big Daddy's Diner. Having a casual brunch gave us more time to talk about life, relationships and everything else.

Afterwards we went across down and the up to 110th to the cathedral of St. John the Divine. A lot of the interior that's been refurbished over the last year or so is done. Having the make shift walls down opened up most of the space. It looked more like it did the first time I went after first moving to NYC.

About 2 weeks ago Stephenie Meyers' book Breaking Dawn was released. I've read all of her books and was very excited about the release of her latest. I've gotten my old roommate and dear friend Elizabeth hooked on them as well. I called her Friday evening to let her know that the book, Breaking Dawn, was going on sale at midnight.

I asked her if she wanted to go with me. She said, "You're crazy. Yes, let's go."

And we did.

At midnight I was #640 in line and didn't care...I got a copy and started reading it on the flight down to Florida.

I'm a geek.

2008-08-14T17:23:00.000-07:00

2008-08-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

2008-08-14T17:19:00.000-07:00

2008-08-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

This is a print of The Unicorn in Captivity as well as other Unicorn tapestries.

2008-08-14T17:11:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth and me at the midnight release of Stephenie Meyers' book Breaking Dawn.

NYC Pride '08

2008-07-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my dear friends Greg and Tom flew to NYC to take in some Pride. We hit the parade (for the first time watching it in Midtown 39th and 5th Avenue) and took it all in.

We were joined by my friends Antuan, Elizabeth and CeCe (Ti) - the latter on loan from Rhode Island. We enjoyed the parade and then hit Dallas BBQ before walking through the Village.

The parade was full of color, love, pride, rain and fun...we took it all in.

2008-07-06T15:36:00.000-07:00

2008-07-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

Broadway Bares 18

2008-06-25T11:54:00.000-07:00

This year I was once again in attendance at the Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS one night only event: Broadway Bares.

On Sunday, June 22nd...hundreds of Broadway dancers donate their time and bodies to raise money. There's always a loose story line to the evening and the performances are out of this world. This year the theme was Alice in Wonderland and everyone involved did an INCREDIBLE job.

There were a couple of theater celebrity appearances...the one the made the night for me was the amazing Julie White. She won the TONY award last year from Best Actress in a Play (for Little Dog Laughed) but a lot of people know her from last year's summer box office king, Transformers (where she played Shia LaBeouf's mom).

Here are a few snapshots from the evening...(not taken by me but worth sharing anyway).

2008-06-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

2008-06-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

2008-06-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

Congrats IN THE HEIGHTS!

2008-06-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

I've been in NYC for several years now and this year was the first time that I had friends up for TONY Awards this year. It was a lot of fun sitting at home and seeing friends on TV celebrating the biggest night in theater.

Last night at my annual TONY party there was a collective cheer and outbreak of joy when In the Heights won Best Musical. I saw the show multiple times off-Broadway last year and just recently got to see it on Broadway a couple weeks ago.

Broadway '08 - Part 2

2008-05-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

Sunday in the Park With George
A couple weeks ago I went to Studio 54 to see the Broadway revival/London transfer of Sunday in the Park with George.

This Stephen Sondheim musical has been updated visually now. When it opened in the 80’s the set and stage of Suarat’s images was illustrated using pop-up scenes. This new, contemporary stage is white, floor to ceiling. The art and imagery is all done with computer-generated images on the blank walls and canvases. The entire staging comes alive as the artist arranges the people in his life into his piece “Sunday Afternoon.”

The musical follows the life (a fictional generation) of artist George Seurat. The show captures his quest to create a new and different type of artwork. Using millions of dots of varying color he discovered that from a distance the overlap created a completely different color and shade.

I can’t say Sunday in the Park with George is a favorite of mine but I was glad I got to see it and I loved seeing this production.

Then there’s Passing Strange…

Passing Strange
I kept hearing about this show. It was in Time magazine…Entertainment Weekly…and a dozen more. I didn’t know anything about it except that it isn’t the anti-Broadway show that made its move from the Public Theater to Broadway.

An inexpensive ticket became available, so I decided to check it out.

I was taken by its style and energy. Passing Strange is a hybrid of sorts: a cross between a concert and show. I’m not sure if it’s a Broadway musical, in fact I’m pretty sure it isn’t, but I do think that it brings a unique voice to the table.

When I walked out of the theater I kept thinking that I’d witnessed the evolution of Broadway. I look at the current musicals on Broadway…shows like Gypsy, In the Heights, Spring Awakening, Avenue Q, etc. and I think the genre of musical is hitting a growing spurt in its evolution. Passing Strange is perfect evidence of that.

The show incorporates a wide variety of music styles and performances and spans the globe telling the story of an Artist finding himself and his sound.

Adding Machine
I love dark
I love comedies.
I love dark comedies and dark humor.

Adding Machine is darker than anything I’ve ever seen. It was described as “darkly comic and heartbreakingly beautiful” – so it sounded like something up my alley.

I don’t normally get swayed by reviews but when I saw a 5 Star review from Time Out New York, I thought that, coupled with the description above, should mean that it would be worth checking out.

So I did.

The one-act musical, running off-Broadway down in the West Village lived up to all its hype. It is dark and the whole show seems to be written in a minor key. When the show started I fear that it’s droning monotony would get the best of me. I knew that it was part of the tone of the musical but I wasn’t sure I could take a whole show of it.

But it got me. It pulled me. I can’t remember one song from the score but it moved me.

2008-05-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

2008-05-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

"Sunday Afternoon" by Seurat and two stage images from the Broadway revival of Sunday in the Park With George.

Broadway '08

2008-05-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

Update…

Tony season is upon the theater community here in NYC and I’ve been making some rounds to really incredible shows.

In no particular order...

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
The all African-American production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof by Tennessee Williams opened a couple months ago and I recently got to see it. It boasts an amazing cast featuring the legendary James Earl Jones, powerhouse Phylicia Rashad, recent movie Dreamgirl: Anika Noni Rose and movie star turned theater newbie: Terrance Howard.

This is one of my favorite classic plays and I really enjoyed the layer having an all Black cast added to the production. I love the show’s language and less that subtle subtext.

It was thrilling to see Mr. Jones embody the role of Big Daddy and Ms. Rashad as Big Mama. I’ve never gotten to see either one of these fine actors on stage, so getting to see both of them…on the same stage…in two amazing roles was simply incredible.

A few years ago I got to see Anika Noni Rose in the musical, Carolina or Change. She picked up a Tony for Best Featured Actress in a Musical and only great things have followed. She was in the motion picture Dreamgirls with Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson and now she’s back on Broadway sharing a stage with some of the industry heaviest hitters. What a brilliant career…with more to come.

From Up Here
A year ago I raved about Julie White in the play, Little Dog Laughed (she did go on to win the Tony Award for Best Actress in a Play), she’s back in NYC and is off-Broadway in the play, From Up Here.

I went to play knowing little about it except that Ms. White was in it. That sold me. The play was great and showcases some of the strongest acting I’ve seen on stage in a while. The entire cast pulls their own weight and seem to bring out the best performances in each other. A true ensemble.

The play frames a complicated, troubled teen and his family with biting, real humor. In the beginning you don’t know exactly what the son has done but the fall out seems to ripple through the entire family.

August: Osage County
A whole other beast…the play August: Osage County. The play just won the Pulitzer Prize and as collected the most amazing, completely deserved reviews. For the first time in Broadway history (I think) a show has moved next door to the theater it was in. Shows move on occasion but it’s rarely next door.

It played out like this…August: Osage County was at the Imperial which is now going to be the home of Billy Elliot. Billy Elliot it isn’t there yet, but they need to get the joint ready. So August: Osage County moved next door to the empty Music Box theater. The cool thing is the marquee is up for August: Osage County at both theaters.

I snapped a few pictures the other day to commemorate the happening.

On to the show…I can hardly articulate the experience of this play. Coming in at over 3 hours with 2 intermissions this show is a marathon of talent.

This play is filled with emotional landmines, verbal sabotage and transcendent performances by almost the entire cast of 13. The dinner table scene in the second act is the stuff actor’s dream of. Even with the show clocking in over 3 hours – I would’ve sat down and watched the second act all over again.

The show is brilliant. Absolutely…start to finish brilliant. As I walked out of the theater and toward the subway…I just kept shaking my head and saying, “Wow.” Pulitzer Prize aside, this show will sweep the Tony’s.

The play was so intense and packed that I picked up a copy today and started reading it right away.

Prepare yourself and check out:
www.augustonbroadway.com

A Catered Affair
If August: Osage County was a loud, brash, family drama the other end of the spectrum would land at A Catered Affair. This is the new Harvey Fierstein musical that is really more of a play with music.

The show has divided musical theater lovers. People seem to either love it or hate it. I’ve yet to find anyone who’s thought it was just Ok.

For the record: I loved it. I thought it was gentle, poignant and heartbreaking. There is nothing else like it on Broadway and that’s why it belongs.

It also just got nominated for 12 Drama Desk Awards...not too shabby.

2008-05-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

2008-05-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

Neighbors...

The Last Lecture

2008-05-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

I just finished The Last Lecture a few minutes ago.

A couple of months ago I saw Randy Pausch on Oprah and I was so impressed with his character and presentation entitled, The Last Lecture.

The other day in a bookstore I noticed that the lecture had been released in book form with his thoughts, ideas and childhood dreams scattered throughout.

I picked it up and was moved immediately by the honesty and power of his words.

I’ve already shared passages and quotes with friends, family and co-workers. I’ve never met Randy Pausch but I’m a better friend, co-worker and human for his words and life.

www.thelastlecture.com

Backwoods Barbie Tour - Dolly Parton at Radio City

2008-05-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

On Thursday night...with my friend Joshua...I sat 4th row center for the one and only Dolly Parton.

It was a sold-out show at the famous Radio City Music Hall and she did not disappoint. She sang everything from Coat of Many Colors to Jolene to Jesus and Gravity. She also pulled out the stops musically...it's not uncommon to see her playing guitar but at this show she not only played her guitar but also the violin, the piano, the harpsichord and piccolo (each bedazzled with rhinestones).

4 Year Anniversary

2008-05-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

My how time flies.

4 years ago today, May 1, my dear friends Greg (from Atlanta) and Damon Bishop (from Astoria, NY) moved me into my Manhattan apartment.

It was many, many, many trips up and down the four flights of stairs but that evening I slept in New York City.

2008-05-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

Street View...Roof Top View.

AIDS Walk NYC...coming SOON

2008-04-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

On May 18th I'll be walking in the AIDS Walk.

This will be my 12th year walking and I couldn't be more excited about walking once again with The Container Store.

I'm looking for sponsors...any mount. $5, $50, $500...

Anything you can share will make a difference to those living with and fighting HIV/AIDS.

You can sponsor me directly by visiting a special AIDS Walk site at: http://aidswalknewyork2008.kintera.org/jasondanielhood

2008-04-10T19:21:00.000-07:00

March Re-Cap...so far...

2008-03-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

Antuan took part in a charity event with ABC Daytime benefiting Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS. It took place at the famed Town Hall theater right off Times Square (it was at Town Hall in NYC that the phrase “no bad seat in the house” was born).

The event gathered some of Daytime television’s biggest stars (Whoopi Goldberg from The View, Susan Lucci from All My Children, etc.) to entertain their fans. The crowd was made of mostly of Soap Opera fans who shelled out a pretty penny to see their favorite Daytime actors dance, sing and put on a “Broadway style” show.

Antuan danced in a couple numbers including one with Susan Lucci. She “sang” the Bette Midler classic, Do You Wanna Dance? and Antuan provided the actual dancing.

There was a nice party afterwards. I got to meet and hang out with the other dancers and singers. We were drinking a nice glass of wine and chatting it up when we heard, “Could you scoot down? Ms. Lucci needs two tables.”

We did scoot and Antuan introduced me to her. She was very nice and even posed for a picture with Antuan.

The beginning of March was a really busy theater month for us as well…it started with…wait for it…wait for it…

Gypsy.

Last Summer I was able to see City Center’s production of Gypsy starring the legendary Patti LuPone. I was thrilled when it was announced in the Fall that the show was so well-received that it would make a move to Broadway.

We took in the show on the 4th and were once again blown away. From the show's goose-bump inducing Overture to when Ms. LuPone stops the show with her interpretation of Rose’s Turn…you can feel the magic that is live theater. I think anyone who truly loves musicals and theater should get a ticket and experience Gypsy.

On the other end of the spectrum…later that week we saw the new Broadway stage adaptation of the movie dud, Xanadu. The movie I could hardly sit through…it is painfully bad…but the musical was hysterical. Its camp value is high and it’s sense of humor is right on par with mine. I would re-visit the show again and again.

It was nice to see Cheyenne Jackson back on the Broadway stage. I wrote about him a couple of years ago when I saw the jukebox musical, All Shook Up. I thought All Shook Up was great. I think (on and off with different friends I ended up seeing it 4 or 5 times) it was a fun show. Ok, maybe it’s not revolutionary theater…but a fun way to spend a night out in NYC. Cheyenne’s a talented, tall-drink-of-water who commands the stage. He’s got a great vocal range and I was really impressed with his comic timing in the show.

Antuan also attended the opening of In The Heights. He was in the show when it was off-Broadway and will probably go back in when during the summer when cast members start taking vacations.

The show opened last weekend to wonderful reviews and I think is bringing a whole new audience into the theater.

Ok…I think that’s the latest, well…from a theater standpoint.

I know there's more to share...Elizabeth and I are writing music again...work is going well...but I'll catch you up on that a little later.

2008-03-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

Antuan with Susan Lucci at the VIP after party for ABC Daytime Salutes Broadway Cares.

2008-03-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

2008-03-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

Photos from the new musical HIT (yep, it's a HIT!), Xanadu....the most fun I've had on Broadway in a long time.

What's Up Doc? It's Valentine's Day

2008-02-15T11:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day…it fell on a Thursday this year which meant: I was off from work.

The day started off quiet and slow. Which was perfect. Antuan and I got up and made breakfast…bacon, eggs, pancakes, etc. and then we headed down to Columbus Circle. At almost 1pm, Broadway powerhouse, Idina Menzel, signed copies of her new CD: I Stand. We waited in line for a little bit and I had the opportunity to meet her. It was a quick hello and autograph but I got to express my support and gratitude for her music.

Antuan was really just there for me. He snapped pictures. (I'll add them soon)

Afterwards we got back on the train and went down to the neighborhood of Chelsea (23rd street on the west side of the island of Manhattan). For Valentine’s Day they were showing the 1970’s screwball comedy, What’s Up Doc? on the big screen. We didn’t have major Valentine’s plans…so a movie from before either of us was even born fit the bill just fine.

We got tickets to the 7pm show and then carried on with our day.

That meant…Antuan’s Valentine’s gift to me…are you ready for it?

Build-a-Bear.

That says it all, right?

I’d …never…experienced the ‘magic’ that is Build-a-Bear. The world’s largest store resides right here in NYC just off 5th Avenue.

Antuan had been years ago and has a stuffed Koala named Kendall to prove it.

I’d browsed through the one in the Westchester Mall in White Plains and I have to admit, it’s a little creepy. Yep, it creeped me out. All these teddy bear skins laid out in bins.

Before I knew it…I was swept away and building my own bear.

There’s a whole ceremony as your bear is being…filled (again, a little creepy) with cotton stuffing. Antuan let the staff know that he wanted me to have the FULL experience. After the bear was stuffed, I got to choose a satin red heart that would go inside the bear before it was sewn shut. I had to rub the heart in my hands to “warm it” then rub it on my cheeks so it would be “cute like me”…rub the heart of my head so it would “always know that it was loved”…you get the picture.

I did it all.

45 minutes later I walked out with my bear (being denied the bear’s birth certificate because I couldn’t think of a name on the spot).

We headed back uptown to Antuan’s apartment, first making a stop at a local fish market. Seafood straight from the sea…literally. We were going to make dinner. We didn’t know what – but we were going to make it.

And we did.

We got shrimp and they steamed it on the premises and then we went home and sautéed it. We didn’t know exactly what we were doing but it was a delicious adventure.

After the dinner and a quick nap we were heading back downtown to see the movie. I know it line for line but it was still a lot of fun knowing that a funny line coming would crack Antuan up – and it usually did.

As we traveled to the movie I continued to kick around names for the bear…Chandler…Mark…whatever came to me.

As we came out of the subway I saw a sign for a restaurant named Porter’s. Porter was one of the names I’d picked out of the air just after we’d left Build-a-Bear earlier in the day.

As the movie began and Barbra Streisand sings You’re the Top over the film’s opening credits, I noticed that the song was written by Cole Porter.

Double confirmation.

The bear’s name is Porter.

And I love him.

2008-02-15T11:13:00.000-08:00

2008-02-15T11:08:00.000-08:00

Broadway diva turned recording artist, Idina Menzel, signing at the Borders in Columbus Circle...and the world's LARGEST Build-a-Bear workshop on 5th Avenue.

Back to Songwriting...

2008-02-13T23:47:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth came over tonight

I was finally about to give her both her birthday (October ‘07) and Christmas (December ’07) presents.

We got up a bit and then started to the business at hand.

Music.

She started playing a new song (as yet still untitled) and I started arranging, writing and re-arranging lyrics.

It’s a lot of fun getting into a groove with her. She knows where she wants the song to go and I get to help her get there.

I always approach a song as a story. What happened before the first verse? What’s happening during the song? What will happen after the song is over?

I look for a through line…a story. Then we hang the lyrics on that.

For some people that makes no sense…for me, it’s one of the best ways to spend an evening.

Charlie Bit My Finger -and- Hope

2007-12-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

I've been telling everyone (and I do mean everyone) about this clip...

I loved it so much I posted it on my MySpace page and I'm sharing it here in my BLOG.

Simply titled Charlie Bit My Finger - this is a short, hilarious clip of two kids. I don't know why it literally made me laugh til I was crying...is it because they're kids? Is it because the older brother sets himself up? Is it because they're British and just too cute with that accent? Is it the baby brother's guilty giggle?

Or is it all of the above?

I'm not sure...but I can't stop watching it. It's after midnight and I'm still playing it.

Click on the links above to check it out. If you visit my MySpace page...not only will you find the Charlie Bit My Finger clip but you'll also hear a song by an artist named Hope. She's singing her beautiful song, Who Am I To Say. Remember her name...she's one to watch.

Enjoy!
-J

Merry Tuesday

2007-12-25T19:13:00.000-08:00

Merry Tuesday.

That’s what I say when I’m blue on Christmas. I'm not a deep blue...but it's not the kind of Christmas I like...so, I just try and look at it as some random kind of day off.

I wasn’t sure what to do with my day…it is Christmas…but all day I’ve been having a hard time finding that feeling of Christmas. I have a Christmas tree and there are present under it…but we all know that isn’t what it’s really about.

It’s about the spirit of Giving and being with the people you cherish in your life. Lots of people have called to wish me a Merry Christmas...but I haven't been answered the phone for fear of being a downer to their day.

Because of a lot of different factors…Christmas found me on my own this year. I was walking that delicate line between being alone and being lonely. I wish I could say that my toes bend on that line…but in fact I’ve spent time on both sides most of the day.

If I had today to do over again and differently...I would've found some way of doing something for someone else...volunteering...something other than have a small pity party.

I slept in…talked to my Brother and then made the decision to get out of the apartment. I didn’t know where I was going or what I’d be doing…but I knew I needed to get out. From my bedroom window the skies were solid blue and the streets seemed very quiet. I wanted something to do in the city…

I hit the streets and headed downtown. I’d thought about seeing a movie…but decided against sitting inside a dark theater on such beautiful day.

So…I got off the subway at 59th street and walked over to 5th Avenue. I decided to check out the windows again – this time in the daylight – and see if I could snap better, clearer pictures. Since it was Christmas day…I figured the rest of the city would be quiet as well. With the city being in a quieter state – I decided to (finally) visit Top of the Rock at Rockefeller Center. Perfect.

As I walked across 59th street I had my iPod playing a mix of my favorite Christmas albums (I’ll share my Top 10 Christmas CDs in a minute). When I got to 5th Avenue, I realized I would not be alone.

The streets were packed. The sidewalks were overcrowded and slow moving as curbside sales of Coach purses and Rolex watches were spread out everywhere. I couldn’t get anywhere near the windows of Bergdorf Goodman’s.

I made my way down to Rockefeller Center…snapping some photos of the Atlas and St. Patrick’s Catherdral…the Christmas tree…the ice skating rink…and Rockefeller Center itself.

I bought my ticket and headed up. The ceiling of the elevator turns clear so you can watch the elevator shaft as you ride up the 64 stories.

There are three observation levels and each is more breathtaking than the one before. Amazingly thick glass wall allow open, unobstructed views of Manhattan.

A picture is worth a thousand words…so I’ll let them do the talking…(see below)

Top Ten Christmas CDs that Should be in Your Collection:
1) Christmas Stays the Same - Linda Eder
2) Christmas to Remember - Amy Grant
3) My Kind of Christmas - Christina Aguilera
4) Home for Christmas - Amy Grant
5) Broadway Cares Home for Christmas - Various Artists (it's worth purchasing just for Lillias While's version of Silent Night)
6) Wintersong - Sarah McLachlan
7) These Are the Special Times - Celine Dion
8) Christmas Memories - Barbara Streisand
9) Christmas in Velvet, Vol. 1 & 2 - Regeneration
10) Christmas in Velvet, Vol 3 & 4 - Regeneration

2007-12-25T19:11:00.000-08:00

2007-12-25T19:10:00.000-08:00

The skating rink at the foot of Rockefeller Center...Rockefeller Center - towering into the sky.

2007-12-25T19:08:00.000-08:00

The tall building with the white top is the Bloomberg Building. At its base you'll find The Container Store at 58th and Lexington Avenue. The glass walls allowing incredible views of the city. St. Patrick's Cathedral...from above. The interior of the Observation level leading to the exit elevators and two additional (higher) observation levels.

2007-12-25T19:06:00.000-08:00

The Empire State building, the observation levels, the Chrysler Building and Met Life building that is located right behind Grand Central.

2007-12-25T19:04:00.000-08:00

Me at Top of the Rock...a wintertime Central Park and the Upper West Side are in the background. Another shot of the glass wall on a lower level and my Christmas tree.

2007-12-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

Two short videos shot from Top of the Rock.

7th Time's the Charm(in)

2007-12-20T23:39:00.000-08:00

I’ve heard the 3rd time is the charm…for me…it was the 7th.

I was off today and spent most of the day cleaning around my apartment, running errands, etc. I decided, kinda at the last minute, to venture down to Times Square and try…yet again for the Young Frankenstein lottery.

The new musical by Mel Brooks, Young Frankenstein, based on his film from 1976, has created a stir on Broadway for several reasons. The score, the direction, the powerhouse cast…but mostly because of the insanely priced tickets (topping off at an unheard of $450).

I love theater…but I wouldn’t (and can’t) pay that much for a show...any show.

Like many shows on Broadway, Young Frankenstein does offer lottery tickets for the front row – for $26. You arrive 2 ½ hours before the show, drop your name in, and then 2 hours before the show names are drawn.

I went to the beautiful Hilton theater and put my name for the 7th time. The young ushers who run the lottery recognized me. They said they loved that I keep trying. I explained that it is a perk of living in Manhattan. If I don’t win…I can go home.

Tonight…I won.

Not only did I win…I was the first name drawn. I couldn’t believe it when my name was called.

The girl drawing names said she thought she was more excited than I was…I explained that I was in shock. I had tried so hard not to get my hopes up that I was trying to take it all in.

The closer I got to show time, the more excited I got. By the time the show’s Overture started I was on the edge of my seat.

Most theaters, because of their age, the front row is so close, physically, to the stage that you end up with a crick in your neck looking up at the stage. The Hilton is newer and the orchestra separates the audience from the stage – providing enough space to see everything (with no strain on one’s neck).

The show was great. It was a great thrill to see Sutton Foster (I’ve written about seeing her in The Drowsy Chaperone last year and Little Women when I first moved to NYC) and an exciting experience finally seeing Andrea Martin and Megan Mullally (of TV's Will & Grace fame) on stage – both were show stoppers.

The show was a lot of fun…it had me laughing out loud. The show had the most special effects of any Broadway show I’ve seen – they could almost knock you out of your seat. Everyone in the cast gave 100% and were at the top of their game.

Anyone who’s seen the movie will love the musical…the show is almost lifted word for word from the film. I just recently saw the movie for the first time (I know, I know…where have I been) – and I can report that it stays exceptionally true to the original story.

Before the show started…I did a little Christmas shopping and needed to use the restroom. Well…wouldn’t you know it…for the first time there’s a public restroom in Times Square.
(click the link in the sentence before this one and read an article in the New York Times)

It’s sponsored by Charmin.

It is clean and…I don’t know how else to describe it…it’s a party. There are Charmin cheerleaders (click on the link above and the song you'll hear in the background is what plays 24/7)…a gift shop…a voting booth where you can vote for your favorite softness…it’s not to be missed. It’s number one in my book…whether natures calling you for Number 1 or Number 2.

I decided to blend in with the tourists and I snapped photos like I’d just stepped off the plane. The whole Charmin happy place was just too funny. I couldn’t believe the way it was done up and the extreme to which everyone went.

I can say this…I’ve never relieved myself …and had such a good time.

Is that a weird sentence?

Don’t know how else to describe it all…but there it is.

2007-12-20T23:37:00.000-08:00

Here it is! No joke, this place is the $%^&.

2007-12-20T23:35:00.000-08:00

The Hilton Theater - home of the musical, Young Frankenstein. The original movie poster and a poster for the musical.

2007-12-20T23:30:00.000-08:00

A bit of the spectacle in Young Frankenstein...Sutton Foster with Roger Bart...Puttin' on the Ritz with the Creature...Megan Mullally making an entrance.

New Traditions...NYC Christmas 2007

2007-12-19T13:11:00.000-08:00

I worked all day…then caught a local train back to the city (Local train means my ride back to Manhattan will be 45-50 minutes instead of 22 minutes when on an Express). I slept the whole way, missing my usual stop at Harlem – 125th Street and waking up in Grand Central.

That’s happened to me before…after a long day. I fall asleep and miss my stop. Last night it was part of the plan.

I went from the Train to the subway and heading down to Union Square at 14th Street. From there I took another train West over to W. Village. I got out and met up with my friend CeCe. He’s subletting a great apartment in the heart of the Village. Very old and very fun.

From there the two of us met up with Elizabeth and her friends from Atlanta/now turned NYC neighbors: Erin and John (whom I call Biscuit. He’s a pastry chef. As nicknames go – It’s a leap, but it works for me).

The five of us walked to Starbucks were we ordered coffee or hot chocolate as dictated by our likes. We added a little “kick” to them and then headed out in the city.

We did a caravan of the department store windows that NYC is famous for.

First stop: Macy’s.

I can hardly even describe them. I can’t…I just can’t. The pictures will have to do it for me.

(see below)

From there we met up with Elizabeth’s roommate, Louis, and then together we were all back on the subway heading uptown. We exited at Rockefeller Center, just under Radio City Music Hall.

We each became tourists and start snapping pictures left and right.

(see below)

From Rockefeller we walked up a few blocks and tried to take in the brilliance that is the windows of Bergdorf Goodman’s.

Wow. If I was at a lost for words trying to describe Macy’s…this final stop blew me away completely.

2007-12-19T13:10:00.000-08:00

Biscuit, Erin, Elizabeth and CeCe...adding a little kick to the coco. The folks at Starbucks welcomed us with open arms and didn't want us to leave without sharing our "recipe."

2007-12-19T13:09:00.000-08:00

Biscuit and Erin gives their hot chocolates a kick ON the subway and then again in the station.

2007-12-19T13:08:00.001-08:00

Macy's Christmas windows - 2007. The pictures can't do the detail justice. That's Elizabeth and CeCe checking out a Santa display that literally flips upside down. Having them in the picture shows just how big the windows are.

2007-12-19T13:07:00.000-08:00

This is how one of the MACY windows FLIPS!

2007-12-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

More of the windows at Macy's and then uptown at Radio City Music Hall (where the Christmas Spectacular show is celebrating it's 75th anniversary). There was a picture of a older gentleman in last week's Time Out New York magazine who is now in his 80's and has been every year since the beginning.