American Songwriter Lyric Contest

Done.

Finished.

Submitted.

Fingers crossed.

The 5 Songs:

To See You Happy, Into You, Something More, Name the Fear and Find Me.

I'm going to share all 5 with you here...together, in one spot. I'll throw in some context of when and why each was written...I'd love to know what you think...so, be in touch.

In researching what songs I wanted to submit, I went back...way back...through years and years of songs. Ultimately, I went with songs that were written in the last couple of years. I felt closer to them and they still resonate inside me.

-JDH

To See You Happy I wrote in about 10minutes - and I love when that happens. When a song comes together like that, so quickly, it is almost always an indication that I didn't censor myself. I wrote this song after the end of a relationship and seeing my Ex moving on. At first I didn't know how to feel...then I realized I was happy just to see them happy.

To See You Happy

v1
So this is how it feels
When enough time has passed
Making things real
Get a little distance
Allow the hurts to heal
From here
I can look at you and finally understand
I was many things
Just not enough to be your man

Chorus
It’s good
To see you happy
And now
To see you happy
Means so much to me
It’s right
To see you happy
So good
To see you happy
As you deserve to be

v2
I will let the future thaw
And just rest outside the past
Though it still feels raw
Trips my tongue
And sticks to my jaw
It isn't easy to call you a friend
Given our history
But our lives will let us write the end

Bridge
I can hold the memory
It will be him holding you, instead of me
It’s gentle ache
To acclimate

Myself to
A quiet break
I appreciate

When I see you

Into You is a song about just letting go and falling in love. I write lyrics, so I have to say that in my mind I hear this as a fun...upbeat song...a song that's got a free-spirit, driving down Hwy 1 in California vibe to it.

Into You

v1

Seems like

I’m stepping outside

Stepping away from everything I know

So bare with me

While I let go

Seems a little

A little unlike me

But when you know, you know

So here I am

And I know

Do us both a favor

Don’t wait for an engraved invitation

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Tie me up

Tie me down

Bind me, graft me into you

Into you

Let me in

Shut me out

Hold me, keep me with you

Into you

A four-leaf clover, Hailey’s comet, solar eclipse

It’s that rare for me to fall like this

But here I am

Falling, falling

Into you

v2

Seems like

This is just meant to be

Just this way, uncomplicated

Like my favorite jeans

Fit right and faded

Seems a little

This side of perfect

How our hearts easily navigate

So I follow

Take the bait

Do us both a favor

Let my touch be my indication

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Bridge

I’m not saying

Clip my wings

I’m just saying

Know

I’ll always fly right back to you

I’m not saying

Brand my skin

I’m just saying

Know

You’ve already left your mark

Something More is another fun, love song...or, at least, that's what I hear in my head. When I was reading and re-reading songs that I've written over the last few years - I could always find songs about heartache and heartbreak. So, I made conscious effort to find some songs that focused on being in love. I wanted to put that energy out there...and see what comes back.

Something More

v1

I like your toothbrush in my bathroom

Your clothes left on my floor

These everyday

Throw away’s

Make me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

v2

I like how you just go to things in my kitchen

When you slip and say “our” bed

The little things

You just bring

Make me thing there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

Chorus

Something more

About you

Something more

About me

Something more

You feel

Something more

You see

I've got no clue what will follow today

But that something more makes the unknown feel ok

I'll gladly settle for

Something more

v3

I like how your head always finds my pillow

Your shoes kicked by my door

You're in the way

Most everyday

Makes me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm kinda sure there’s something more

Chorus

Bridge

Stay

And let’s drive each other crazy

Stay

And let’s make each other sane

I'll make room in my closet

I’ll make room in my bed

Why go back to your place

Stay

Right here, let's make this Our place instead

Chorus

Name the Fear I wrote as support to my friends...friends of survival. I have many friends who are survivors...of abuse - in various forms - physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual and psychological. This song I wrote as I moved through therapy and addressed abuse I had sustained. Abuse that left me in need of discovering new ways to cope and process.

The previous songs I felt confident submitting in the lyric competition...they seem radio-ready with the right tune and beat. Name the Fear and Find Me are the two I was the most unsure of. They're both personal and they aren't really love songs. But they're real singer/songwriter songs and, at the core, that's who I am.

I'm partial to the lyrics of the second verse especially the line about being "cornered in a round room." In therapy that was how I felt, at times. When I was writing this song and I wrote that line, I remember exhaling. It was exactly what I needed it to be.

I wanted to include these songs in the competition because they hold more truth, at this time in my life, than the love songs. Understanding the truth and weight of these last 2 songs meant I had no choice but to include them.

Name the Fear

v1
Look me in the eyes
Sit your soul down
Inside my voice
Nothing you say can surprise
Things will shine through
It’ll be clear
When you find the words
To name the fear

Chorus
Baby, name the fear
Nothing can reach you here
What you’re facing
Has to get by me

To get to you
And I’m not letting anything through
I swear
All you need to do, is name the fear

v2
That vow of silence, bend
I’m not that far ahead
Of where you are
How it starts, how it ends
When what was far
Comes dangerously near
Cornered in a round room
Forced to name the fear

I am always amazed at how well we know each other...really know each other.

I remember a friend saying they thought I had it all together. I laughed. I said, I don't even know what that means. I don't want to have it all together. I like the questions of life and faith.

We all have insecurities. Hurts. Scars. Some of us are better at hiding them than others. I write Find Me because the more I talked to my friend, the more convinced they seemed to be that they had me all figured out.

They couldn't have been more wrong.

Find Me

I’ve been right
I’ve been wrong
Come up short
And it’s taken long
To find me

I’ve been a saint
I’ve been a sinner
Lost everything
To feel like a winner
Still I find me

I’ve been there
I’ve been back
Surrendered
Only to attack
So I find me

Chorus
You say
Time always tells
You say
You know me well
Truth is
You know only

What I let you see
Truth is
I’m still my own discovery

And I

I don’t even know all of me

So you

You only get to know

What I let you see

You’re so far ahead, you’re behind
You’re the first person, standing in the wrong line
Only to start again
So count back from ten
Close your eyes, then you'll see
Look the other way and then

You'll find me

so. outdated.

It has been SO long since I've blogged...

But I'm heading back. With new songs, quips & stories.

Stay tuned!

In the meantime in between time...check out older posts and get in touch if you read over some lyrics you like. I'm entering a lyric writing contest and I need help deciding what to submit.

Thanks.
JDH

Into You

A brand new song...I can't even be sure where it came from. It isn't drawn from some wonderful, romantic life experience...at least not yet. Maybe I'm speaking something into being.

This new song, Into You, came in about 10 minutes. Reading back over it, it feels like it wrote itself.

So, I'm sharing it here...

Enjoy.
-JDH

Into You

7/11/10

v1

Seems like

I’m stepping outside

Away from everything I know

So bare with me

While I let go

Seems a little

A little unlike me

But when you know, you know

So here I am

And I know

Do us both a favor

Don’t wait for an engraved invitation

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Tie me up

Tie me down

Bind me, graft me into you

Into you

Let me in

Shut me out

Hold me, keep me with you

Into you

A four-leaf clover, Hailey’s comet, solar eclipse

It’s that rare for me to fall like this

But here I am

Falling, falling

Into you

v2

Seems like

This is just meant to be

Just this way, uncomplicated

Like my favorite jeans

Fit right and faded

Seems a little

This side of perfect

Which our hearts easily navigate

So I follow

Take the bait

Do us both a favor

Let my touch be my indication

Baby, this is your permission

Chorus

Bridge

I’m not saying

Clip my wings

I’m just saying

Know

I’ll always fly right back to you

I’m not saying

Brand my skin

I’m just saying

Know

You’ve already left your mark

He Goes

Between Facebook and Twitter...my BLOG becomes neglected. I always mean to do better...but do I? Rarely.

Yesterday I got home from a brief vacation in Richmond, VA - visiting family. I really should write about that...and I will.

For now...I'll share my latest song. He Goes. This is a song I started a couple months ago. When I first started writing it...the words poured out of me. Then, as quickly as it flowed, it ebbed. While I was flying to Richmond earlier in the week, I revisited the song. I hadn't even looked at it in months. As I flew, I reconnected with what I was going through when I first started writing. I stepped back into all the mixed emotions and re-directions. With that step, the flow returned.

He Goes is a simple wrong time, wrong place love song. It's about falling for someone who isn't available. It intrigues me what we sometimes put our hearts through...how we fool ourselves. The song's Bridge enfolds my favorite lines of the song.

He Goes
1/9/10, 4/23/10

Chorus
And he goes
He goes
Contrary to
What I feel
My heart
Already knows
These are borrowed hours
Stolen minutes
‘Til he goes

v1
Middle of the day
Hidden away
From the world outside
I let go and let it ride
You
Making me laugh
Making me smile
Making love to me
Making me believe
In you

A tattoo sleeve
On arms so strong
I think you’ll never leave
I’m playing tricks on my own heart
It’s myself I deceive

Chorus


v2
When you stay
Stolen away
From the world we know
We can escape and go
You
Making me dream
Making me release
Making me explore
Making me believe
In you

Carmel colored lips
Kidnap me and
I forget everything I’ll miss
I’m lost in the game before we start
It’s myself I punish

Chorus


Bridge
You ask me to understand
Trade time for being stronger
It isn’t that you love him more
Just loved him longer

Post-Virginia...two NEW songs...Teeth and Crave

Here and 35.

As I've written already, Virginia was a departure for me. The departure didn't sit the same way with everyone. I got lots of feedback...emails...text messages and a couple of phone calls. One that resonated with me...was from someone who "missed the love songs."

The more I thought about that...the more I understood it. Whether falling in love or falling out love or landing somewhere between...that's mostly what I had written about.

So...I'm sharing a little of both...a new song called Crave, which is a sexy, love song and Teeth, a feisty, spirited auto-bio-song.

Crave is about wanting more of more. That feeling you get when you first fall for someone...completely. Teeth was written in direct response to the feedback from Virginia...there's more to all of us than what people see.

Crave

10/7/09, 1/9/10, 1/24/10, 1/27/10

v1

Step inside, step closer

Come alive, come closer

It’s just us

You and me

Nothing between us

Any separation is a barren desert

Of our own desperation

This anticipation is a cyan blue sea

Of our own creation

Where the sky meets the heavens

At the same time it meets the waves

I will express

If you will confess…

Do you?

Chorus

Crave

Another moment

Crave

Another touch

Crave

Do you?

Crave

Another escape

Crave

Another rush

Crave

v2

Step inside, step within

Come alive, come within

It’s just me

Wanting you

Hanging in the balance

All reservations abandoned

For honest infatuation

Any hesitation now will just side swipe

Our hearts acceleration

Where this can go is up to no one

But the two of us inside this moment

I will profess

You acquiesce

How you…

Chorus

Bridge

You’re intoxicating

Like the ink under your skin

That’s how you’re tattooed

In my life

I want to fill each day

With more of you

Teeth

1/19/10, 1/20/10

v1

You know me

You know me

But did you know

I can hide in plain sight

In lines and lyrics

Transparent and real

But you don’t know I measure

What I reveal

Chorus

In a moment of weakness

In a moment of strength

I showed you my soul

Now I’ll show you my teeth
A split second of forgiveness

Split second of release

I relinquished control

Now I’ll show you my teeth

The artist as lover

Can be a fighter beneath

Love me for my soul

Love me too for my teeth

v2
You know me

You know me

And now you know

I can show my colors

In truth and tantrum

Honesty and secret

But you don’t know I measure

What I regret

Chorus

Bridge

Have I said too much

Have you seen my hand

There is only so much truth

You can comprehend

You wanted to see

More than my heart

You want to know

If I had fight

Well, behind this kiss

Is my bite

Chorus

Virginia

There is a genesis to this song...it all started with curiosity and melted into fascination. As I read biographies on Virginia Woolf...read parts of her letters and diaries...I discovered a kinship. The connection I felt to her was only strengthened when I discovered we share the same birthday.

Today, January 25th.

I understood her. I understood her life, her demons, her struggles, triumphs, power and, ultimately, her death.

There were several specific things that intrigued me and I gravitated to...things I wanted to incorporate into the song. A quote that Virginia Woolf was pretty but never beautiful...that she was an excellent swimmer...yet she choose to fill her pockets with stones and will herself into a river to drown...she wrote three suicide notes (which is why I chose to repeat the word down three times in the verses) and lastly, I wanted to pay tribute to Emily Sailers of the Indigo Girls whose song, Virginia Woolf, was my first introduction to her life.

I've shared this song with a handful of people - before sharing it here. This song is a different departure for me...it has an unfamiliar shade of transparency to it. The reactions have been all over the spectrum...friends have praised its imagery and questioned my artistry...asking for more fun love songs (those conversations actually sparked their own songs...more on that post-Virginia)...

Those "other" songs are still inside too. They will return...better and emboldened by my other life experiences.

Until then...Virginia.

Virginia

1/9/10, 1/12/10, 1/15/10

v1

Virginia,

Was it the weight of

The water,

The stones

Or world

Pulling you

Down, down, down

Virginia,

Was the escape hidden

In diaries,

The letters

Or books

Writing it

Down, down, down

Chorus

Virginia,

Can you hear me?

Virginia,

Can you see me?

I wade in the water

With stones in my hands

Virginia

Can you free me?

Virginia

Can you teach me?

I’m lost out of the water

I know you understand

I know the voices you hear

I know the faces you see

You and me

We share more

Than a day in January

v2

Virginia

How is madness worn

In dark,

In shade

Or night

Letting you

Down, down, down

Virginia

How are answers made

Carved

In lies

Or truth

Holding you

Down, down, down

Chorus

Bridge

Oh, Virginia

What makes up the sum of you

They said you were:

Always pretty

Never beautiful

Whose eyes did they look through?

Virginia

Strong enough to swim

Virginia

Strong enough to give in

Emily told me,

The river eclipsed your life

But couldn’t touch your legacy

Your will and the water

Pulled you from the surface

Setting you free

Chorus

Pre-Virginia (Part 2)

I've re-read Virginia shared it with a couple of selected friends...even talked about it in therapy...

The song is inspired by and based off the life (and death) of Virginia Woolf.

When I started reading and researching her life, I discovered that we share the same birthday...January 25th. That small discovery made me feel like I had an even stronger kinship with her...

pre-Virginia

I finished Virginia this evening...

A tough, tough song for me.

This song is unlike anything I've ever written...I've re-read it several times, each time I'm afraid its too transparent.

I feel like I've been honest and candid with things I've shared before but this is the first time I've really taken pause and considered how much of myself I'm revealing...

I think I will take another day or two to roll it around in my head and heart before putting it up.

New Song: Bye

It started with Gone (Days Like These) and has continued...

I thought I would revisit some songs that were waiting in the wings to be finished...when inspiration found its way back to me. I've looked over some of the songs and some of them did, indeed, find their endings.

I've been pleasantly surprised by the new songs...songs that have been shaped differently and filled out in new ways.

Some of have been fun and (what I hear in my head as) "upbeat"...like Bye...it feels like a country song to me. Other songs have been darker, for me. I've done some digging...Virginia is one of those. I'm not ready to put it up yet, so for now, here's Bye...

Bye

4/7/08, 8/17/09, 8/23/09, 1/9/10

v1

Here I am

And here you go

We both saw this coming

Had seats on the front row

Something had to give

And baby, I gave

Something has to end

When there’s nothing left to save

How you get from Point A to B

Doesn’t really matter to me

A garage sale or eBay

Craigslist, give it away

Some good things come to an end

It was never that good, a no win

Chorus

This is: bye

Just that, just bye

No more excuses

I’m out of uses

For the stories and lies

This is: bye

v2

Here it is

Just so you know

There was no making it right

To work you’d have to show

Look over your shoulder

Turn back time

But still in the end

It has to be worth the climb

How you get from here to there

Can’t really say I care

Take the lesson and learn

Or just crash and burn

What’s meant to be will find away

Not this time, not here and not today

Bridge

Fool me once

Shame on you

Fool me twice

That’ll do

We all know how the saying goes

So get your shit, pack your clothes

We could do the dance

Hand out one more second chance

But I’ve learned this lesson

All dogs don’t go to Heaven

Gone (Days Like These)

I started this song in August...but really only had a line or two. I set the song aside and knew when the time was right, it would come back around.

This morning...around 1:00am...it came back around.

My Dad's brother, my Uncle Charles, passed away almost a year ago...April of 2009. Thinking back to his funeral...and how my Grandmother, Aunt and Cousins are now responsible for the task of "moving on"...this song came to me.

With the passing of a loved one...with the loss of a job...or, really, the end of any chapter of something important in your life - there are always people who tell you, on the hardest of days, that there are always "days like these." No one tells you...and, in truth no one knows...how long those days will last.

So this song is for my family...but also for all who've experienced loss...

Gone (Days Like These)

8/23/09, 1/7/10, 1/8/10

For those who grieve...

v1

Whispered voices

In mid embraces

Say

There will be days like these

There will be days like these

Misplaced voices

In quiet places

Say

Just get through, days like these

You’ll get through, days like these

But no one said anything

About it lasting this long

I guess it is just the balance of life

Now that he’s gone

Chorus

Now that he’s gone

In these halls

In these rooms

An ache builds

A make-shift residence

Now that he’s gone

In these hours

In these days

A hurt buries deep,

Spares no expense

Now that he’s gone

v2

Trusted voices

In family faces

Say

Get beyond, the days like these

Leave behind, days like these

Loosened voices

In good graces

Say

You’ll forget, days like these

Once familiar, days like these

And no one will measure

When the healing finally comes along

And Time finds time to stitches up your heart

Now that he’s gone

-Chorus-

Bridge

Some days

You let go

Some days

You just don’t know

You find

You can’t measure a life by a life

As a son,

Daughter, husband, wife

With lost goodbyes

And no reprieves

You find you can stay

Though in your heart

Each day he leaves

JDH, Back on the Blog

With Facebook and Twitter...some times the Blog falls to the wayside.

Never for long.

It's a new year. 2010.

For the first time in memory, I was very ready to say goodbye to a year. 2009 was a tough, tough year. I'm glad to have it behind me.

I was going to jot some memories of '09...but I'm just going to let them go...strive to shake it off...

And...start with a clean slate.

9/11

Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of 9/11.

I haven't written a lot about 9/11...on purpose.

When 9/11 happened I wasn't living here yet. I didn't feel and still don't feel that I could write about it as a New Yorker. I was living in Atlanta and sitting at my desk when it happened. I remember not believing it when I first heard the news. I thought it was a small plane, a confused pilot. I didn't comprehend that it was an attack...that it would reduce the World Trade Center to piles of rubble.

I had just been here in NYC on vacation. I had flown back to Atlanta on Sunday evening, having been here to see Heather Headley in the musical Aida before her final performance. So much changed between that long weekend in the city and that Tuesday morning.

Now...8 years later...I live here. Since living here I've only been to Ground Zero once...and even then I could not stay. When my parents were here a year ago they had mentioned going down to the where the towers once stood.

We walked into St. Paul's. The small church is within a block from Ground Zero, yet not a single window was broken with the collapse of the towers. The church houses a collection and memorial to those who gave their lives trying to save whoever they could.

The atmosphere was somber and I could feel tremendous heartache and loss around me. I looked at the pews and saw they were scuffed and scratched from where firefighters had stretched out, still in their gear, making an attempt to rest before return to the search.

As I absorbed what I could around me...I became overwhelmed and knew that would be able to accompany my parents to the actual site. The place...these few blocks here in Manhattan...resonated with me.

I am a New Yorker.

Go to Him / Unguarded / Something More

The writing continues.

A lot of the songs I finished a week or two ago but I'm trying to balance out when they're posted. This is a good mix.

The first, Go to Him, is reflective of a relationship that is caught - maybe in its own evolution. As I've said before, unrequited love is the basis for many songs. This is one of those instances. Sometimes when you're too close to that person who's wanting to be close to someone else - you lose your perspective.

The next song, Unguarded, is from last weekend. It is a sexy, summer song...that I wrote close to midnight on the train coming back from White Plains, New York. When I re-read it - I feel like I should've written it while sitting on the stoop to my building or while stretched out in Central Park. The song is about complete abandon...running headfirst into a crush. That first smile. That first look. I imagine this taking place on my New York City rooftop during a block party.

Something More is the last song and is one of my recent favorites. This song is about discovering and striking that balance when a new relationship is growing into...well...something more. There are little things that happen, when you least expect them, that let you know you're falling in love. Then there are the not-so-little things...when you find yourself making space to incorporate someone else into your life. Those experience are my favorites...I like those tell-tale signs that you're completely falling for someone...when you catch yourself saying "we" and "us" instead of "me" or "mine."

Enjoy.

-J

Go to Him

8/12/09, 8/15/09

v1

I don’t need details

I don’t need rhyme

Or reason

This choice isn’t new

It no longer

Tastes of treason

The bed you made

Is where you both will lie

I’ve let go

Or at least I try

This feels like more

Than either of us

Bargained for

To great a sacrifice

To not be with you

But still share your life

Chorus

We can’t move on

With you looking back

Deciding who to save

Yourself or me

You can’t come along

With me pulling back

Making me be brave

Instead of free

So let me go, let me go, let me go

To sink of swim

Let me go, let me go, let me go

And go to him

v2

I don’t need escape

I don’t need cause

Or effect

This is no mystery

No speak easy

Or lost secret

I know fully

Who we were to each other

Has been lost

Left to bury and cover

This feels like more

Than either of us

Is really ready for

Always too close to you

Deep inside your skin

Like your first tattoo

Unguarded

8/22/09, 8/23/09

v1

Feel the sun

Turn up the music

Feel this groove

Turn up you

Make your move

It’s summertime

Baby, I’m feeling fine

I’m here waiting on you

Waiting on you

v2

Feel the air

Turn up the sound

Come get close

Turn up you

Make the most

Of summertime

Baby, I’m feeling fine

Don’t over think this

Let’s just kiss

Chorus

Let loose

The ties that bind

Let go

Let fly, be mine

Throw caution to the wind

Your plans all discarded

And let’s run into this, arms wide

And unguarded

Maybe hit and miss, then ride

And live unguarded

Bridge

Lights go low

Temperatures rise

We all know

It’s no surprise

Colored lights hang off the roof

In my eyes you’ll see the proof

Lean close, lean in and listen

This kiss is your permission

Something More

6/12/08, 8/17/09

v1

I like your toothbrush in my bathroom

Your clothes left on my floor

These everyday

Throw away’s

Make me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

v2

I like how you just go to things in my kitchen

When you slip and say “our” bed

The little things

You just bring

Make me thing there’s something more

Yep, I'm pretty sure, there’s something more

Chorus

Something more

About you

Something more

About me

Something more

You feel

Something more

You see

I've got no clue what will follow today

But that something more makes the unknown feel ok

I'll gladly settle for

Something more

v3

I like how your head always finds my pillow

Your shoes kicked by the door

You're in the way

Most everyday

Makes me think there’s something more

Yep, I'm kinda sure there’s something more

Chorus

Bridge

Stay

And let’s drive each other crazy

Stay

And let’s make each other sane

I'll make room in my closet

I’ll make room in my bed

Why go back to your place

Stay

Right here, let's make this Our place instead

Chorus

The Plaza

There are a collection of little things that make you a New Yorker...over time. One of them is religiously referring to the weekly magazine: TIME OUT NEW YORK.

Last week I noticed that there is a free tour of the famed Plaza hotel twice a week. One of them was today, at 3pm. I had errands to do today but I made time to get up to the south end of Central Park to check it out.

There is so much history wrapped up in this beautiful landmark. The pictures came out a little fuzzy because they encourage you not to use flash photography inside.