Sunday, April 24, 2005

Home - for a Time or Lifetime

Earlier this evening at my church, Circle of Grace, we had a wonderful service in the home of my pastor and friend, Connie Tuttle. The service was simple and wonderful. Connie asked if I would sing His Eye is on the Sparrow as our call to worship. I had sung it a couple of weeks before but said I would love to sing it again. The last time I was nervous. There was no one there to play the piano. It would just be my voice. Me, picking a random key and hoping for the best. As I sang the song I realized I was perfectly on pitch and that it sounded just as it had the evening before in my concert. That moment gave me assurance and I sang with all my heart.
Two weeks later I called on that same assurance. I would be singing alone again and I had just walked in the door. I wasn’t warmed up or ready but I rested in the moment and realized it wasn’t about sounding perfect. It was truly about singing "because I’m happy" and singing "because I’m free." It was a wonderful feeling. To just let go and let it all unfold as it should.
In the second half of the service there was a Blessing for me. Connie spoke the most incredible words as she invited Circle of Grace to send me forth. "It is a rite of passage and like all rites of passage it is challenging, difficult, emotionally grueling, and ultimately transforming," she said. She lovingly described me as, "Kind, creative, honest, open-hearted, gifted, and a courageous God-lover." It didn’t take long for me become emotional. I was so moved by her words and how she and the congregation of Circle of Grace saw me.
When she finished, one by one members came up and anointed me with Jasmine oil. They spoke to me as the dipped their fingers in the oil and touched me. My mind, my heart, my feet, my smile and my voice were some of the areas blessed. Each spoke such tender words to me.
It is an evening I will always remember and I will hold on to Connie’s words that reminded me that I "will always have a home to come to – for a time or a lifetime."

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